Out of Hibernation in 2023

I’ve got an info session webinar with the director of the UB Rehabilitation Counseling program tonight at 6PM. I’ve procrastinated long enough and now it’s time to kick that process into gear. I’ve got until April 1 to get all my stuff together and submit the application- letters of recommendation, resume, transcripts, statement of intent, etc. I always work better on a deadline rather than having a nebulous, fuzzy timeframe that seems to be out in the distant future. It adds unnecessary pressure but I seem to thrive better under pressure- as long as it’s manageable and reasonable.

I read about Aaron Rodgers’ “darkness retreat” that he plans on going on as a means to center himself and decide what his next steps in life will be. The type of retreat he’s speaking of is an intense, 4 -day thing where he locks himself away from all external stimuli in order to go “within” and listen to his authentic self. I feel like I’ve been on a sort of ‘retreat” myself these last few months. I’ve intentionally shut myself down and separated from much of life in order to listen to myself and initiate a reset of sorts. A reset in which I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice and filter out as much of the unnecessary outside noise as possible. A reset in which I’m learning to not succumb to the anxiousness that is at the core of who I am. A reset in which I’m learning how to be authentic and true to myself and not at the mercy of what I think others may expect of me.

I’ve grown tired of not knowing who I am and being prevented from finding my true self by the inner turmoil that has always been a buffer between life and the real “me.” My anxiety and constantly churning mind has always had me asking “Yeah, but what if....?” and kept me full of doubts about where my true North lies. Getting my degree in Psychology, as well as all the self-learning I’ve done as a corollary to that, have led me to the door I know I must now open. I want to help people. I want to be a positive agent of change for those who may need some support and advocacy as they attempt to rebuild their lives. I want a life of meaning. It’s time to come out of hibernation and actively work towards the life I want and need.

Last updated February 09, 2023