I have been doing this same survey since 2014, but since I jumped journals I don’t have the archive anymore.
Here’s 2022 in a nutshell.
What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?
- Became “qualified” in my military trade.
- Walked M through his introduction to functional polyamoury (functional as opposed to lifestyle polyamoury. Polyamoury is something M does, but something I identify with.)
- Was part of a polyam triad (I detest the term “throuple”)
- Had my very own psychiatrist (on top of a revolving list of social workers).
Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I really like using resolutions as goal setting for the year, so yes I’ll be doing it again. 2022 was fucked. Let’s just get that out in the open. That said:
1. Pass air ops course ✅
2. Promoted to lieutenant ✅
3. Promoted to captain - on hold because my fitness test is invalid. I missed my test date on Dec 14 because of the compassionate leave for Gran (we’ll say nothing of the anxiety).
4. Practice meditation/mindfulness more intentionally. ✅
5. Boston for fucks sake - FFS no.
6. Read 10 Books:
~Trickster Drift ✅ (love love love)
~The body is not an apology - still trying
~Taking charge of adult adhd ✅ (it was garbage)
~Unsettling Canada - need to get another copy of this. The library doesn’t give me enough time to read heavy texts.
~You are here (for now) ✅ (it was cute)
~Monstress - about halfway through, it’s on my night stand.
7. 40th birthday bash ✅ I put a check because functionally it happened, even if my friends suck and no one showed up.
8. Develop relationship/Mentorship with LD - No, but M keeps telling me I should be emailing her to keep in touch, but I feel weird about crossing a boundary and he’s like, “YOU SLEPT IN HER BED”. Yeah… but that’s not the same as access to her actual life.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Church Lady had a kid in the fall. I haven’t talked to her much in the last few years though… I got fed up with the introverts in my life being cavalier with my feelings because solitude suits them better.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, but also no, because estrangement. Gran died on Dec 2nd.
What countries did you visit?
Just Canada this year.
What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?
Peace. A stronger sense of self to help me navigate conflicting wants, needs, and obligations. Not going against my minimalist heart and buying all the stupid shit.
What date from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 7 - I graduated my trade course.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing my trade course while staying alive. There was a lot of darkness in the first quarter of the year, and I now have the perspective to know that I kicked ass at getting myself through it. I even began to really enjoy my time by myself. I’m almost relishing M leaving for his own course in January so I can test the theory.
What was your biggest failure?
Not having the mental fortitude to keep my fitness up, which meant I didn’t get promoted on time, setting myself back even farther…
Did you suffer illness or injury?
My mental health was trash, but it’s definitely improving. In November, when I started trying to train for my force test I fucked up my shoulder and it’s still really bad, maybe getting worse. I’m going to be calling the clinic in the morning.
What was the best thing you bought?
- A trip to Toronto for our Anniversary in October.
- an AirBnB for our time in Hamilton for Gran’s funeral.
- I put a downpayment on two separate EVs, though the transaction for the one I’ve kept might not be for another year or so…
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
I cannot praise M more. He has grown so much in the last year or so, becoming “woke” (I hate this term, but like Social Justice Warrior, I feel the need to embrace it because it’s something I believe in), listening to what I say and believing me.
But also I think my mom deserves some praise here, and I never thought I’d be able to say that. I think I’m finally in a place where I’m not afraid anymore to be my authentic self with her.
Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I had a lot of rage for the impotence of my CoC in Winnipeg. To openly acknowledge something was unacceptable and yet do absolutely fuck all about it. But this is the same story all over the organization, individual’s hands being tied when they are the first line of response for the cultural and systemic bullshit we’re all dealing with.
Where did most of your money go?
Only about 17% of my money went to “good causes” (not bills or frivolous bullshit), 1.7% to savings, 8% to RRSP, I gave my sister’s business 6.7%, enough to make an extra novel, and then about 1% to donations.
I have many goals to improve these numbers. PS, I do this by percent every year because my pay fluctuates so much each year.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Coming home from Wpg.
My first doctor’s appointment when I got back from Wpg (so excited that the doc suggested I was manic…).
M getting his occupational transfer.
Seeing Janeane again.
And, now for some TMI, giving head (I used to really enjoy it when I was younger, but until recently M wasn’t very receptive, so I stopped trying… but now… look out!).
What song will always remind you of 2022?
I honestly think every previous year’s answer has been bullshit. I usually pick a song I’ve been playing on repeat, but I’m never going to remember from year to year. Actually that’s not necessarily true, I believe in 2018 the song was “Sober” by AJR, and I still remember that song, because I heard it in a specific context (where I worked), and I still listen to AJR, and it makes me think back to how awful that job was.
I think the closest thing I will have to something like that for this year was when LD invited me and my colleague into her home, and Tame Impala came on her stereo and she was like “I love these guys, do you love these guys?” and I was like “YESSS!!!” and my colleague was like, “I don’t know who they are” and I have never felt like I understood another person’s feelings in any other moment than that one (I am always the person who is like, “I don’t know that [pop culture reference]”.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder: Happier!!!!!!!!!
Older or wiser: Wiser
Thinner or fatter: I think I mostly maintained this year.
Richer or poorer: Technically richer. I continue to make the most I’ve ever made, but I’m also slightly more in debt compared to this time last year.
What do you wish you’d done more of?
moving my body, singing with a teacher, knitting, riding my motorcycle, reading
What do you wish you’d done less of?
getting stuck in ADHD/depressive paralysis
How did you spend Christmas?
We got our tree early, but then lost almost 2 weeks of tree-enjoyment to going back to ON in early December. We decided on no gifts (I’d been asking for weeks, but travelling really sealed the deal). Fairly last minute we also decided that instead of doing a whole turkey dinner (which we love to do) we wanted to get a “turkey dinner pie” from a local bakery and it was an EXCELLENT decision. We got high almost every day and banged almost every other day, played a lot of video games, went for some walks, and talked A LOT.
And Red got married!!
How did you spend New Year’s Eve?
We planned on keeping our tradition of “Fucking in the New Year”. That night we got high, played video games, and decided on going to bed earlier than anticipated. So when we came downstairs after literal hours of sexy time, only to find it was 11pm, we sat down to watch one of the Star Wars movies over midnight haha.
Did you fall in love in 2022?
Being in Ontario in December really was a little honeymoon for M and I. The amount of connecting we did over that week was really quite transformational. I am so in love with and proud of the man he’s become.
How many one-night stands?
No one night stands, but we did have a dalliance with a friend of mine that M got close to, and later we got Bastet back in the bedroom. Threesomes > One Night Stands :D
What was your favourite TV program?
What is a TV program even?
I just finished watching Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrls (Prime), and it is fucking life changing. I’m so glad that she won an award for it.
I am also enjoying the glut of Star Wars content.
I really enjoyed Chernobyl, but I’m late to that party.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Fuck no. There’s been so much negativity I couldn’t be bothered to feel it towards people. Though there’s one guy at work who annoys me every time I work with him… so that kind of sucks. Fortunately I don’t work with him much… And it’s definitely not hate.
What was the best book you read?
Though I’m not done it yet, Unmasking Autism. It has me leaning heavily towards thinking my ADHD dx was wrong (the meds don’t work), and that I might have low support needs autism.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
That we have access to Accuradio at work. Probably not the expected musical discovery, but it was the only one that actually had an impact on me.
What did you want and get?
To be qualified in my trade, promoted to Lieutenant
Greater intimacy with M
Reconnecting with Red.
What did you want and not get?
My promotion to Captain.
What was your favourite film(s) of this year?
Normally I take all my top IMDB ratings for the year and list them. But I really sucked at ranking, or even documenting, what we saw. Here’s the 9’s and 10’s I actually managed to rate:
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
They Look Like People (2015)
The Adam Project (2022)
Don’t Look Up (2021)
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 40 this year, and I asked M and Red to throw me a surprise party. I know that’s not how these things work, but after years of being like, “I wOuLd LoVe It If SoMeOnE tHrEw Me A sUrPrIsE pArTy!” and no one taking the fucking bait, I straight up asked.
And it sucked. I mean, by surprise party standards it sucked. As a casual gathering with friends it was delightful. But this is another example in the catalogue of why I feel like I (historically) make more of an effort for my friends than they do for me.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Decent mental health.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?
put a dress on the body and act like a human.
What kept you sane?
A ridiculous amount of weed. A spouse who gets me. Sexual adventure (feeling seen in my sexuality is rare as a poly/pan person in a monogamous hetero marriage). Texts with Bird Guy.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Really got on a Charlize Theron kick after watching Atomic Blonde with Bastet and M before going to bed together.
I’ve been enjoying Diego Luna in Andor (and we just watched Rogue One), there’s something about him, he’s relatively average looking but he’s got something going on.
What political issue stirred you the most?
The overturning of Roe V Wade. The public hearing on the Jan 6 insurrection.
More locally, the jackassery of the “Freedom Convoy”. I really wish Canadians would stop co-opting American culture, especially the bullshit parts like their obsession with “Freedom” (there’s a very funny skit by This Hour Has 22 Minutes, and also a segment on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, where they compare Canada’s simple (ok, archaic, but still simple) election methodology and compare it to the US’s Each State Does Their Own Thing methodology, and the number of USAmericans who believe that is “freedom” is really dispiriting).
Who did you miss?
Omicron fucked so many things at the beginning of the year. It’s hard to believe that was less than a year ago. How the world decided that Covid was “over” just blows my mind. That said, I missed a lot of opportunities to see people in Winnipeg at the beginning of the year.
I missed CK since she moved away, but she’s already been back twice since she flew on June 30th.
All of my far away peeps. That’s the pitfall of military life, your people get scattered to the wind, but the other side of that coin is that every province offers a home coming.
Who was the best new person/people you met?
I have been thinking about trying to cultivate an out-of-work friendship with one of my coworkers. She’s super nice, excitable, and an uuuuttterrrrrr nerd. Love that about people :)
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022:
I can do anything with M by my side.
Quote that sums up your year:
“As the area of our knowledge grows, so too does the perimeter of our ignorance.”
~Neil DeGrasse Tyson