Stolen from Midorinokaeru
How much would you pay for a list of everyone who has ever sexually fantasized about or masturbated to you? Why?
I initially read this question wrong. I thought I was supposed to come up with a number of funds owed to people that I have gotten off to. I was like, omg how do you even calculate that? What’s the going rate for a wank? No doubt I’d owe hundreds…
As for buying a list of people… meh? Depends on my mood, one day it might be $25 and one day it might be $100, but I’m too fucking cheap to go much higher than that.
Where was the most public place you have had sex?
My bf once got me off on a bench in the main park of my hometown. Pretty sure there was an old guy who figured out what we were doing… M and I had a lot of car sex when we first started dating since we had no private place to bang.
What’s the weirdest non-porn movie you’ve had playing in the background during sex?
The very first time M and I had sex was during the movie High Tension. It’s a horror verging on torture porn and I’m pretty sure there’s a rape scene in it. Obviously I made him turn it off. For the record, we had chosen the movie, together, before we knew we’d be banging.
If masturbation became illegal, how would you respond?
I’d write letters to my MP from jail.
Which part of the human body is horribly designed?
It’s a real fuck of “intelligent design” that the parts that give AFAB people pleasure is also the parts that torture us on a regular basis.
What is one thing you shouldn’t do naked?
Cook bacon. This was a lesson I learned because my best friend once cooked bacon in a bikini and I am extrapolating.
If you were scrolling the internet and found out that there were r34 drawings of you, what would you do?
Laugh? Be furious? Depends on if I appreciate the drawings or not, I guess.
Where is the worst place to lose your virginity?
My mind keeps going to creepy places so I’m gonna sit this one out.
The person you lost your virginity to is now right in front of you. What are you saying to them?
Not a fucking word.
What do you think of guys who don’t go down on girls?
Fussy pricks. I also hate how they do it in porn. Get your fucking mouth on there, licking with the tip of your tongue is like watching someone try to avoid getting something sticky on their fingers while trying to pick that something up. Get in there, get messy, enjoy it.
How are dicks attractive, if at all?
I hate to say that circumcised dicks are more attractive than uncircumcised, but I also think that is because the majority of men I’ve been with have been. But not all. It really doesn’t make a difference to me. So, yes, there are attractive dicks out there.
Women, how often do you fake orgasms?
NEVER. It is a disservice to your pleasure and to your partner learning what you like. Don’t.
You can marry a celebrity of choice and live happily ever after, who are you picking?
Sweet mother of god, Cate Blanchett. Particularly Ocean’s 8.
Oh shit… or Charlize Theron.
My type of celebrity woman is the polar opposite of my type of in person woman…
What do you think about people with a foot fetish?
I like some weird shit. To each their own.
What is the worst thing to moan when having sex?
I dunno about the worst but after M got me off particularly well after I was done yelling about it I said “SWEET BABY JESUS” and we laughed so hard we had to stop for a few minutes.
One of my personal mottos about sex is “If you’re not laughing, you’re not doing it right”.
What advice would you give someone who is going to lose their virginity?
If your partner isn’t as interested in your pleasure as you are (and vice versa) don’t fuck them.
What can nobody on Earth look cool doing?
Why did my brain go here, but… taking a shit.
What is your opinion on big age gaps in relationships?
My age gap is 10 years, with M. I know people 12, 15 and 26 years apart, and they’re all happily married. I couldn’t give a fuck.
But this reminds me of the time one of my coworkers met M (it was literally our first date) and asked me to come see her later, where she told me about the 20 year age difference between her and her husband and how it never mattered until she was 60 and he was 80, and then it really really mattered. She just wanted me to be careful.
Would you rather give up cheese or blowjobs for the rest of your life and why?
When I say I enjoy giving head, it is an understatement. I have recently reclaimed my former title of Queen of Head (self appointed, but the reviews are excellent. for example, “you are a goddess”). I have also been known to say a life without cheese is not a life worth living.
So, I guess I would rather die. Haha. :|
What would you do if the love of your life has a micro penis?
Toys exist. ~shrug~
Have you ever broken up with a man because of his penis? If so, why?
What is your go to position that just does it for you?
There’s just something about being fucked from behind that just gets all the good parts.