trying something new today in my challenge

so at the request of my brother, instead of doing yoga today i will be trying t25's alpha ab routine. i don't see the problem here. i'm at the point of this workout routine where i start to customize it a bit anyhow. i've never been flexible and i can't do half of the yoga exercises anyhow. might as well get something accomplished today. besides its becoming incredibly obvious that my mid section is the only part of me not getting itself together. i'm ok with trying something new here. i'm not looking for an easy way out, just looking to do things better. always striving to improve. i still haven't hit my goal and until i do i will continue to push until i am just doing maintenance. weight is a number that i don't care about, i care more about how i look. if i never hit my goal weight but look killer i am fine with that. i'm hoping to drop another 80 lbs but would be fine if i drop 45 or 50. but i'm also wanting to hit a lean muscle look. but my frame seems to want to go big. i'm also getting nervous because my shoulders and arms are getting a little bigger than i expected. my traps are huge and my shirts are fitting weird now. keep pushing and grinding. i'm so glad that i started back in january, there have been struggles. i've missed workout days, i've been injured, i've been sick. its easy to look back and say i wish i had started 15 years ago or 15 months ago. the only thing to do is take it a day at a time, as cliched as that sounds. do one work out, then the next day do another one, and the next day do another one. it builds up then its a week and a month i mean i've been going at this for almost 6 months or so. its surprising, but i will keep going i can't quit now. i've put work in, i've changed my diet, i've been taking pills and supplements and shakes and oils, i should get results for this work. i should be able to look back on this day in a year and say how happy i am that i started this, i should be able to look back at my life before i really started working out and wonder why i didn't do it sooner. its also a smaller part of making myself into the person i want to be. i watch fight club and i wondered what my tyler durden would look and act like, i then thought about why i was not that person and how i could become him. i started looking at different blogs, reading biographies and watching interviews of people i wanted to emulate, asking questions to people who know how to get where i want to be. i realized that not just with working out but with all things in life motivation is such a huge part of the process. i've been working to keep myself motivated. i want to be unrecognizable in both mind and body. i've changed a lot of my mindset, i'm no longer living for women, i still love women, but my life comes first. improving myself is more important and it no longer concerns me if i don't have a long term relationship anymore. i know i could easily get into one, and if the right girl comes along then it will probably happen. however, i'm not investing too heavily into the women in my life right now. i've even started to focus on my posture and began delving into the wardrobe. the wardrobe is new grounds for me, i've typically been a tshirt and jeans kind of guy. i've since then considered buying a couple more suits and even a good pair of shoes or 2. getting rid of material possessions that i don't use any more, and trying to focus more on what's important. its an exciting time to be me, all i had to do was have 2 terrible years, have my best friend die then have the girl who helped me through it move away. got to start from the bottom i guess and build a better person. or maybe it made me realize if i could survive that i can do anything. we will see.