What a mess in The Devil Beneath My Feet

An art account I follow on Twitter asked their followers

“Post a photo of your hands and later I’ll assign a song to them and do a little sketch.”

I happen to particularly adore the way this person draws hands. This person has 13k+ followers. I posted a picture of my hand holding a cigarette. I never expected a reply, I was one among many, but eh, why not.

Well I got one. And it’s a beautiful sketch, with the words “beautiful nails, ready to fight” and the song attached was Cuckoo Song by Cosmo Sheldrake.

I am ugly crying my fucking ass off.

I just spent like 15 minutes crying so hard I almost threw up. That’s the nicest thing I’ve experienced in..fucking years on years on years. It’s not that people in my life don’t ever do nice things for me. They do. Often, even. It’s just that most of the time those things are always attached to some expectation, or in return for something, or just plainly empty.

This was a complete stranger who didn’t owe me a goddamn thing, least of all a reply. They don’t know me, they don’t know anything about me, so my imposter syndrome and self loathing is sort of forced to be quiet for once because it’s impossible for this person to be lying.

Beautiful nails, ready to fight.

Also, oddly, I happen to love cuckoos. I own a couple cuckoo clocks, and the song opens with “In April I open my bill…” I was born in April.

It really is bizarre and unbelievably pathetic how much of an impact such a simple act of kindness just had on me.

Fuck.

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Last updated November 10, 2022