Drums in the deep in The Devil Beneath My Feet

I can hear it. Drums in the deep. It’s coming.

Now would be a good time to start taking Vitamin D and really ramping up the effort to find a therapist (still haven’t tried again) but am I going to do either of those things?

Honestly? I’d be surprised if I did.

The much more likely outcome is me swallowing more feelies like an anaconda with a bottomless hunger, except it’s not bottomless and in fact we’ve pretty much well and good hit the threshold but oh well.

I’ve been reading, lately, which is good and also bad because I’m too much of a masochist and it often outweighs my sense of self preservation, so I wind up reading things that even I know aren’t really healthy for me to read at this particular juncture in time.

Feeling terrible is still better than not feeling anything, I’ll tell you that for free.

Work has been batshit buttfucking bonkers lately which is to be expected, tis’ the season for dumbassery. Doesn’t help that we’re understaffed, but who isn’t?

I’ve taken to listening to speed metal first thing in the morning while I chug my first bucket of caffeine, and man do I get shit done before 7am. Half my paperwork is sorted by 7, completely sorted by 8, and the rest of the day is just chaos - which I like, I do best in chaos.

Either my bosses genuinely think I’m doing a good job, or more likely, realize how slammed I’ve been and are reassuring me in an attempt to keep me from running. I got an email from…let’s call him…Mike…in response to one that I had sent to a few people advising of a situation that had happened that I had already handled. All his response said was, “Good job!!” I know he uses voice to text almost exclusively because he’s forever on the move, so at first I chuckled because I could hear him in my head deadpan talking to Siri, “good job, exclamation point, exclamation point.”

But a W is a W so I announced very loudly to the rest of the office, “I WOULD LIKE THE RECORD TO SHOW THAT ON THIS DAY I HAVE RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM “Mike” THAT SIMPLY STATES “GOOD JOB,” SO EVERYONE CAN EAT THAT FOR LUNCH.” My immediate boss yelled back “THE RECORD WILL REFLECT!” So suck on deez.

The “Mike” in question does not give out “attaboys,” the best you can really hope for is constructive criticism instead of the cold criticism he deals out regularly.

That being said the fact is he’s just aware of how haywire it’s been and I definitely have looked exhausted as of late - because I am. We’re understaffed as it is and while I am easily replaceable, training takes a while and what a pain in the ass. le shrug