I’m trying to type around a sleeping cat at the moment. Norah, our Tortie, has been having some extreme anxiety as of late. She’s just a bit of a high strung gal, country girl at heart- maybe not cut out for the downtown life we live under this roof. So at the moment I have an overweight fur ball half blocking my view of the screen between desk and keyboard in a big tortie colored fluff pile.
I don’t mind the company at the moment. A number of things seem like they are conspiring to depress me. After the new roof goes on later this week, I’ll be close to broke. Summer break is just about over and the work in autumn is shaping up to be long and grueling. I have projects, things to do, but not motivation to do them. Existentially, I’m in crisis. Girlfriend has been feeling mistrusting of me lately. She won’t come right out and say it, but I start becoming very aware that she is watching me extra closely for changes and tracking my movements when we are not together. Today she finally admitted to it. I asked her why, she thought it was perhaps because we’ve been having such a nice time of it lately. She copes with insecurity by being controlling. Sometimes I don’t mind doing a thing or two for her, but eventually I have to draw a boundary and it turns into a brief fight.
I don’t mind an occasional fight, but at the moment I am just too tired for it.