Pulled back in.... but not really. in Piscis moon

1.- The story starts when Jesus told me he once had an ex-girlfriend who read his cards and told him all about me, all about who i was and the things i said that day. I never gave it much thought afterwards, i did wonder who the ex was but it never really seemed like a threat if she knew i existed and the connection i thought we had. Then last winter i mentioned this to shalma who had said she was interested in getting her cards read and we stalked jesus to find the girl. Around two weeks ago, the girl had posted in her facebook page she was going to start doing readings again so we booked her. Once we got there i trembled with fear and anxiety to realize it wasn’t just any old ex, it was the girl before me; yes the one he lasted 8 years with and lived with. Due to my perfect english accent, she thought i was foreign and i don’t think she realized who i was… i mean how could she? it’s not like jesus and i ever went public. The reading basically told me i should think twice about acepting C’s promise ring, how the universe takes these compromises really seriously and if i were to say yes, the universe would start revoling towards it. It was quiet scary at first, i think she thought i maybe didn’t want to but i do. I mean not right this moment, and to be honest the promise ring was my idea but it was only to pause her intentions of actually giving me the engagement ring. Either way, i do want to marry her but i don’t want to do it yet… i think theres no actual diference i mean it’s not like i go out anymore, or hang out with anyone that’s not her but i just don’t the compromise right this moment i mean for god sakes i can’t even drive yet. But going back to the ex, as soon as i got there she asked about my sign and we both happen to be sun earth signs with piscis water moons… I was just a different copy of her to jesus (but we will get to that in a little); i shared how i met c and how we are a numerology couple number 7 and she mentioned how that literally had happened to her, how she was in love with jesus and then when on to a course and met a guy she was a couple number 7 with. It’s funny how she left out that it was an ayahuasca course, that jesus had taken her and how fucked the course guy in the forest cheating on jesus but i mean no judgment i also found my #7 while i was still with jesus so “i understood her”. L (the ex) was… such a hippy but really when i saw her she was wearing the fugliest long printed skirt ever, you could tell she’s a virgo and it’s funny because i always felt so insecure with jesus, his money, his fancy family but then she was a complete opposite of what i always felt i should be with him. I know what i said about her skirt was mean, and it’s probably coming from my capricorn side but thats the thing even when i said i was a different copy of her… i’m not, she was so nice, you could tell she had a kind heart and at moments i really understood why jesus loved her so much and how if she hadn’t fucked another guy they probably would still be together… and then there was me criticizing her skirt and thinkg how prettier i was and i mean i’m not a shitty person… theres worse but i definitely wasn’t her and knowing how we were socializing and how she had no idea who i was and the fact that i was in what she called “her home” with him and how i fucked in her bed, ugh i just felt dirty. Now i really didn’t think i was going to see her i swear but that didn’t stop me from tryning to get info on her relationship with jesus. Somewhere in the conversation i mentioned how i have always felt like in the possible paths in life i would eventually find happiness so choosing was always so hard for me and i asked if she ever felt like that when she choose her #7 and she said: “no, when i thought about marrying my ex, it wasn’t that i wasn’t happy but i knew it wasn’t the life i wanted” with threw me back to when i regected him first and i said “i want things you can’t give me”… it’s stange how the things she always want to do in the relationship and i refused to are the things i do with c, not in a bad way but genuinely i enjoy passing time with c, going on dinners, going to the city, going with my friends, i remember how anxiouse i always felt with him and how i might have confused that with love.
Considering this event just happened and i didn’t look for it, it really left me wondering why it ever did, what was the universe trying to make me understand?

2.- There’s this girl from my school who got pregnant was going to marry Jesus’s older brother, i knew the wedding was going to be soon so i had silenced her on social media and earased instagram; i knew i would somehow see photographs of jesus and his new girl and i didn’t need that. AND AGAIN without looking for information that same weekend i met with his ex, this girl gets married with his brother and some of my friends happen to be invited so two days after the wedding i get a text from a friend giving me all the intell. Apearently he broke up with his fiance during the wedding and I MEAN, was i happy? yes, that bitch really fucked me up and maybe they would eventually get back together but i was always so mad about the way he left me and then all of a sudden found “real love”. Now before i say anything else, anfrd before my friend had told me I ALREADY KNEW, just like i knew when he proposed, where he proposed… iro know it sound crazy and maybe the break up i saw it coming when i stalked her twitter account but overall it’s really strange how my body sometimes just KNOWS stuff like literally i think things and a little voice answers. Either way i again i got pulled into information of him.

3.- A day or two after the wedding i got text message from a friend saying jesus’s brother had told the co-worker that introduced jesus and i that i had gone to his wedding, and to all this WHY, like each of the aforementioned times i really said “it’s life telling me to let it go” and i never even met his brother, jesus and i lasted a minute how does he even remember my name? Aside from that i don’t even talk with his new wife and he should know that, i understand a lot of people went to that wedding but if it’s your wedding you KNOW who you invite so it really made me panic that he thought i sneaked into the wedding like bro i was at my house working.

4.- That same week another friend texted to gossip about how jesus and the new girl had broken up.

That whole week i felt so pulled into him, his drama, drama i wasn’t even envolved with. I mentioned this to a friend and she also admitted how she could see myself strangely and constantly being pulled towards him and the worst part is i feel like i’m the only one with this conenection, i really don’t think he finds out gossip about me, even in the possibilty that he does all i do is work, spend time with c and fix my family’s messy legal problems so i’m pretty irrelevant nowadays. I even thought he would reach out to me but two weeks have passed and nothing. Not that i expect him to do it, he did once… but to be honest there’s nothing left to say, i’m happy with c, i really love her and our relationship i feel like he would just come back to create drama and i really don’t need that.