Sometimes I think about how nice it is to not deal with anyone if I don’t want to. I like not having a job where I have to put up with other people and their rudeness. There’s a lot of times I truly feel happier, safer, and I can actually put my guard down when I’m at home. I think about how fun it’s going to be making money again and the whole deal but I really do like not having to take shit from other people.
I truly enjoy just being in my own space, hanging out with my daughter and being able to avoid shitty and toxic people and things. I don’t know if it’s just living in a place that’s really pushed me to my breaking point or just knowing things are never going to get better here but I honestly feel happier not interacting with other people. I get lonely but then I remember how anytime I try and connect with others I just get used or get to deal with their nasty backhanded comments about my life.
So we went and picked up the groceries this morning. I got a lot this time so we won’t have to worry about it for like a week. I just got done taking some garbage out and now I’m just sitting here. My Mom informed me that my brother is taking the week off and he’ll be kid free that whole time. It must be nice to be one of God’s favorites.
My Dad got ahold of our friend and he’s planning on coming Saturday to do the car repairs. I just pray that I’ll have the other part by then. It’s supposed to here Thursday so hopefully everything will get done that day and I can put this behind me for awhile. I still have other things to fix but it’s not urgent quite yet.