I missed the Monday class again.... even after checking the clock all day, all the way up to “One more hour before class” then I just forgot about it. .... That’s 3 of five classes missed :( The time for the class is at the time we are usually eating dinner and watching TV before I go to bed.... I thought it’s would be fine but it’s not.... my brain just shuts off .... very frustrating.
I had been short on the goal Monday and tacking it onto each day since I’m still driving Rocky’s car, so I can only work till I get too hot.
period started yesterday.... I guess I”m a bit moody
Jake’s re-evaluating his life.... I mean that’s what it looks like on this side.... sort of.... through difficulty he’s looking into his parenting time.... Let’s be honest.... it’s because we pushed him (Dest and I).... Jake is a hero.... and he takes on far to much… Takes car of his mom.... uncle… son… but honestly he’s not okay enough to do that. Any mental illness aside many of us wouldn’t be okay. Jake did 10 years military service and now because of mental illness, Doordash is his best bet for a job. Well.... between that and Cian’s mom........
So we’d talked.... and he’d gotten angry at Cian for something that he did likely because he’s a kid. Not to mention Cian and Jake’s mom doing get on well.... Then, I start to think How often is Cian there.... OMG ya’ll.... Jake is seriously living like an 1:30 drive from his son and still has him 70% of the time. Cian’s mother (though he lives there) only has him in the mornings and 2 evenings. .... I’m not sure where the time got lost in Jakes head but ..... I’d asked him how much time he would want and clarifying with could you do 50/50 .... I guess 50% seemed like more than he was allready doing but after you remove school time and sleep it’s a 70%/30% and it’s wearing on him. This is not working in his favor, not that it auto should but Cassie (the mom) is not taking responsibility and just does whatever she wants and he can’t even make a consistent pay for how often he has his son. He can’t even take time for himself.... So we talked about time.... and he asked if I could give him suggestions....
I looked at all the time and after figuring up what he’s at now.... and letting him know… 50/50 would mean he’d get every other weekend off but would still see him twice during the week… and that was like 49/51 so that’s my suggestion.
They (Jake and Cassie) did not set a parenting plan when they divorced. It’s taken a real toll on Jake. The suggestion to have a more predictable schedule isn’t only for him though. Jake lives out in a bit of country and there aren’t any kids around for Cian to play with. Jake has Cian every weekend.... I guess that’s okay for an 8 year old.... but what about 12? Shouldn’t he be doing sleepovers soon? Who picks him up? Who drops him off? seriously?!!? will he need to drive an hour+ to take Cian to a friends house? Just to come back to pick him up in the morning? And she can’t living 10 miles away from said friend? .... Yeah, nip that in the but buddy.
Jake wants to spend time with his boy ya’ll, it’s more than Cassie could have ever asked for BUT.... it’s too much.... inconsistent.... chaotic.... For the sake of both of them it needs to stop honestly.... so He started a GoFund me..... Here which honestly says very little about the situation.
I wrote him a thing and told him he should use it instead. This is what is there now:
Child 8 years old had nothing written at divorce declaring time on who has cian. Money raised will go toward lawyer fees making time more consistent between me and other parent
This is what I wrote to replace it :
Cian (Keyan) Muir is a boy not unlike others but with a kindness known to everyone who is close to him. Unfortunately, his parents we unable to work out their differences and divorced in 2018. Cian is now 8 and living a rather unstable childhood.
When his mother and father got a divorce they were sure they would be able to work out co-parenting time on a week-by-week basis. This seemed like a good idea at the time of the divorce. Working around each other’s schedules in order to do what was best for Cian. That is the key here. This is what we are asking for help.
After 4 years of being mentally strained and stretched it’s time to involve another lawyer. It’s essential to Cian’s future social life and the mental health of everyone involved to establish a routine and fair time with each parent.
The lawyer’s fees are far beyond what the father can afford because of the open schedule and medical reasons he has been unable to work a steady job. After 10 years of military service, he is delivering for Doordash and is unable to accumulate the amount needed for a lawyer at this time.
The more time that goes by the less social Cian will be. His father does not live near his friends and Cian is with his father a good 70% of the time. Cian lives with his mother during the week. The hours are currently very chaotic as they are pretty much at the whim of the mother. Getting a lawyer would allow Cian’s father to pursue fair time. Fair time would allow Cian to have sleepovers and weekend friends as a child of his age should. It would also allow
Cian’s father to pursue a much more steady income.
Please consider helping with this cause. It would change the lives of these 3 people forever.
Destiny contributed $20.... and I intend to (at least $20) when I get this week caught up.... of course, I”ll be behind a whole week after the trip..... .... one thing I know I can do is post it on FB and here.... and modify his description (if he lets me).
He’s been talking about tattoos he wants.... he doesn’t have any.... but he wants one for his service… where he was stationed in Japan and one for the son he lost. I makes me want a memorial tattoo myself.... I think about the child I lost.... I KNOW what I want for a tattoo and Where I want it.... just.... just .... sometimes I don’t want it and you can’t go back… it’s a tattoo lol
Car status.... I drove Rocky’s car again today because he put some epoxy on the crack and it didn’t hold so we went out and got another type.... there is still a small leak so he got a 3rd one last night.... Tomorrow I want my car back. Drive it between the morning and the 8th and he can put a whole new pan on it while I”m gone.... but I need to do better than the minimum before the trip..... especially being that as soon as I get back I’ll be $450 behind.... and we still won’t have the ignition fixed.... I get hot much faster in his car being as there is no A/C..... I can’t get the seat into a comfortable position.... It is much bigger than mine… and I hate it.... Of course I am happy to have the ability to use it at least the 4 days during the week....
Sammy is home this week.... we have not had heart-to-heart time yet as I’ve been out in the mornings and Rocky’s been getting up almost as soon as I get in.
Oh yeah the hematologist went fine.... he said it’s common for people to get sent to him.... he has about 50 cases like mine a year.... looked over my medications and said the levels of white blood cells will fluctuate either because of the Thyroid med I’m on or because of weight loss/gain. Going to have a follow up in 3 months then he expects me to “fire him”. He works with cancer more than anything so he’ll be happy for me to fire him being as business is busy.
Today.... Rocky has a CT scan at the hospital to investigate this anal bleeding issue.... yes it did stop but now he’s complaining of an annoying pain in stomach and not feeling like he’s completely pooped.... ever.... CT scan today.... colonoscopy later this month....
Time to get therapy in.... make/eat lunch.... do some house chores and chill for a few before going with Rocky to the scan....