I’ve been doing some thinking about my Mom asking if my daughter can go with them to run errands and I don’t know if it’s because she asked just to be the peace keeper or it was my Dad pushing it. I just think it’s crazy that they see me asking her to help me out that there has to be some kind of catch. I know that my Mom feels the need to always include everyone and push for everyone to get along but sometimes I really wonder about her mental health and why she doesn’t think anyone should be allowed boundaries.
Both of my parents have always treated us kids like we are children, regardless of age and how we aren’t to have boundaries. I’m a Mom and I’m going to be my child’s voice and I don’t care who gets upset about it. I’m not pulling anything out of thin air, there’s been enough shit that’s gone on for me to know that it’s best for my child to not be around him. I am not desperate enough for a sitter that I’m gonna go along with my daughter being around someone that I know is unsafe.
I’m very angry that so much has happened with everyone and that’s why I don’t trust a soul with my child. I have some trust in my Mom but even that’s iffy as she’s always trying to include my Dad even when we’ve had a million conversations about him. I am just sick of being a broken record and no one taking anything I have to say seriously. I refuse to just sit back and let anything happen to my child.
It’s cooler today so I’ve gotten some house cleaning done and now I’m just sitting in my room while my daughter watches TV. I feel bad that she asked about her Dad yesterday and where he lived. I was completely caught off guard and said he lives here in our town and didn’t give much of an answer of why we can’t visit him. Today she asked if we could go over to my brother’s house and I just said no. We need a break from them for awhile. She’s mentioned how my niece doesn’t treat her very well and I told her that’s why we don’t visit.
I really wish we had more people to hang out with. It really sucks that we don’t but we get through it. I thought about reaching out to her Dad yesterday but I didn’t. I wish things could be different but I refuse to go through the same shit anymore. He doesn’t want to see her and it just results in a big fight. I always go into it thinking that this time will have a different outcome and my daughter will be able to see her Dad and form a relationship with him. It just doesn’t happen.