Closed and Enjoying in The Kid Used To Dream

I’ve always heard if you hold it in it’ll find its way out eventually. Today, I had to draw a boundary in my home office - this, is the space where I work. Also, if you are working with me and I have trusted my workload with you that means I trust your decision. When I am typing or researching things I can’t have you talking thru 934 ways you should or shouldn’t send a letter to a client. I would have you do it wrong and let’s discuss how to do it next time than fight thru the urge to eat pencils while I’m trying to type an email....all with a smile.

I caught myself doing something at the little league football practice I manage. While I was talking to some dad’s I caught myself sharing stories about work and things that I have done the past few years. I absolutely never take time to offer a part of myself to the dad’s. After we all left the park, I sat in my car and felt embarrassed. Why did I do that? They probably didn’t want to hear it. I vowed to keep myself closed and what did I do? I told a synopsis of the last 3 years of my life to a small audience that couldn’t leave the situation because their kids were practicing. It made me feel ashamed of myself. It reminded me why I need to keep my head down and say nothing.

My new outlook is to find out more about others than I share about myself. I am hoping that will feel more fulfilling than the way I feel now.

I’ve always for my entire life stood on the outside of the conversation wondering what it would feel like to be someone engaging in a conversation. I know now - dont care for it.