This being a parent thing sucks when you don't have a "village" in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS
- July 18, 2022, 8:54 a.m.
- |
- Public
Just when I thought that I had all of my sons daycare/school woes sorted out, I found out that I don’t! I finally found a daycare with an opening for a non-fully potty trained 3 year old that has an IEP and goes to school half day to receive speech and OT services. Okay, so I’ve been searching for months. Literally…no place has availability or they won’t take him not fully potty trained, or they don’t offer part time or the location is too far away. So I found this BRAND NEW (hasn’t opened yet) daycare center not too far away from my home. I thought I had hit the jackpot because if he attends the school I work at (Magnet School), they bus kids all over the city versus the neighborhood schools they only offer transportation in the area of the school. So because I work at a Magnet Elementary school I THOUGHT they would provide the transportation to the new center. I just called the preschool office through the school district and found out that I CANNOT DO THAT! All bets are off for Pre-K! They will only provide transportation within the vicinity of the school/daycare. So his school will always be based off of his daycare location. So with the new daycares location he could not attend the school I work at and the school provide his transportation back and forth. I am so frustrated! I feel like I HAVE TO CHOOSE between him just going to daycare full time OR him going to school and receiving IEP services. It’s not my CHOICE. I have no choice.
My boyfriend was offended that I’m not asking or relying on him to get my child back and forth. I’ve done this now for 2 years. The first year we lived here, I never found a daycare with an opening EVER so my son stayed home. The second year which was last year was an ABSOLUTE nightmare. With my boyfriend being hospitalized multiple times and then there was a time or 2 when he went to Texas to visit his sister. I don’t want to depend on anyone for ANYTHING because it leaves ME to miss work. This year I want more control. That way, if something does come up, I’m not shit out of luck and having to call in and miss work every day that he can’t help me. He’s offended because I think he’ll be in the hospital, but you just never know. In case of emergency, the only back up is ME and I cannot miss work like I was forced to last year every time he had a medical emergency.
I just got off the phone with a lady who owns a home childcare. I am scheduled to view it and talk more with her tomorrow. Her childcare is located in the neighborhood of the school that I work at which would allow him to attend the school where I work which will make it easier on me to be able to take him home straight from school since we’ll be at the same place. He would attend afternoon pre-k versus morning pre-k like he did last year. The school district here doesn’t feed pre-k children breakfast or lunch (only snack), so last year he was eating breakfast at home, being driven to school by my boyfriend and then being driven by bus to daycare in the afternoon after school and then having lunch late and then a LONG NAP and then I’d come and pick him up. I want to eliminate that afternoon nap because it makes bed time so much harder if he’s not tired. This way he’ll have breakfast and lunch at daycare and then get picked up by the bus to go to school AND then I will bring him home after school. Well, then I’d drive the 5 minutes to my daughters school and then pick her up from the after school program that I am putting her in. My boyfriend used to pick her up from school, but now with me working just down the street from her school, it’s not really conducive for her to be picked up just 45 minutes or so before I get off (her school gets out at 3:00 and mine gets out at 4:10). It will cut out our excess use of gas. Also, it frees my boyfriend to do as he pleases or if he does have an appointment or surgery or an emergency.
Last updated July 18, 2022
fjäril ⋅ July 18, 2022
I had those same issues when my son was in ECSE and wasn't fully toilet trained until closer to 3 ½ or so, but once he got it, he was on it. I think it was more at school than at daycare that it clicked for him. But for a while, I'd drop him off at daycare at 7am, he'd have a little breakfast, off to school 8:30am, then back to daycare around 1pm, have a late lunch, late nap (thus shorter, if he even slept at all), and then I'd pick him around 4:30-5. It made a rough day for all of us, but he seemed to roll with it - so long as the schedule was consistent.
iwontsugarcoat fjäril ⋅ July 20, 2022
it is SUCH A PAIN! And I am just at a loss at how to get this whole potty training thing to click for him. You ask him where he's supposed to pee and poop and he says the potty. He takes himself pee and poop if he's naked. Can't be naked at daycare and school! If he has undies he'll go pee 95% of the time and poop about 50% of the time or he'll just go in his underwear. If he's in a pull up he'll take himself to the bathroom maybe 40% of the time to go pee and he'll probably poop in the pull up. School and daycare don't want him in undies until he's ready, but a pull up is just a diaper to him! At home i don't let him wear anything! I don't know what else to do!!!
fjäril iwontsugarcoat ⋅ July 20, 2022
for what it's worth, I don't believe people when they say that they toilet trained their kid over the course of a weekend or when they're super young. I feel like it takes a little bit for these little brains to recognize physical feeling and need that they need to use the bathroom, and someone telling me they did it when their kid was only nine months old (true story! I don't know how a kid is toilet trained when they're not even walking yet) or in only two days (I feel like the lead up into those "two days" took much more time, maybe even weeks, but it certainly was not a two days and done type of weekend)
iwontsugarcoat fjäril ⋅ July 22, 2022
YES! Those are the kinds of comments that I always get! "My kid was trained by 1", "my kid was trained by 9 months" like you said...it's always "my kids do this" or "my kids don't do that"....like who are these perfect parents that can parent so perfectly and seem to know what they're doing. And I never believe them either. I had a woman tell me not too long ago that her kids were always quiet when she told them to be and that they would never be loud and excited while playing with toys the way mine are.