10 Things, Some Important in These Foolish Things

1. My fundraising project - the 30-Day Dog Walk Challenge to benefit the American Cancer Society is nearly over. Today was Day 26. Four more days to go! My friends (including my PB friends), family, former work colleagues, and even a couple of acquaintances have chipped in to raise $1700 for cancer research and I’m overwhelmed with joy that I could do something productive during my Funemployment time. This has been cool. And if you were thinking about donating and haven’t yet, there’s still time!

2. One of the fun things about walking every day is I get to see some fantastic things while I walk. The other day I encountered a couple holding hands while jogging! I’ve never ever seen this before and it was really cool. They were obviously running at exactly the same pace and holding hands like it was no biggie. I loved it. It got me thinking about the blind marathoner I met several years ago. He told me about how he has a guide and they run in sync - what a beautiful thing. Oh, and he was a beautiful man. I remember. And we made out on his boat. It was a weird night. How did I get so far off track with this bullet point?

3. There’s another guy I’ve been seeing on my walks recently. His name is Eric. He is super handsome and very, very friendly and he always says hello. Sometimes he has little girls with him. They confuse me because I am pretty sure they are his kids, but they are filthy-dirty like they are orphans that have just been rescued from a natural disaster or something. I don’t know how else to describe them. And they don’t have the best social skills, although they were super sweet to ask me if they could pet Martini on our walk, they didn’t know how to express themselves very well. Today I saw this guy without the girls. He’s beautiful. It doesn’t make sense.

4. The mystery of the disappearing pee puddle in the hallway remains a mystery. I’ve seen several neighbors and nobody has said a word. I haven’t, however, encountered any building office staff or maintenance. I don’t know if they would confront me or not. I guess that remains to be seen.

5. It’s been a super hot weekend and I haven’t accomplished much except for the dog walks, some reading and the tiniest bit of housework (oh, and watching the new Netflix series God’s Favorite Idiot. I love Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone).

6. Anyway, I also perused Tinder a bit over the weekend. And I saw someone who freaked me RIGHT OUT. It was an old, old boss of mine at the first job I ever had in [my city] when I moved here after a 6-month stint in Belgium in my mid-20s. So…this guy was my boss in 1994. THAT long ago. It took me a little while to recognize him, but I knew that face pretty quickly. This particular boss took me out to dinner one night after work. I was soooooo naive that I thought it was a legit work thing. Alas, it was not. The man tried to make out with me after dinner and I freaked out. It caused a whole stink at the office and I was the talk of the whole place - NOT in a good way. Still, the guy wouldn’t leave me alone, calling me into his office for “private meetings” where he’d ask me to run away with him for the weekend. He wanted to fly me to exotic locations and on quickie trips to New Orleans and such. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. I was scared to go to work for fear he’d come into my office and back me into a corner and try things with me. That was the beginning of the end of my employment there. Ugh. I’m still grossed out about it. His profile grossed me out. I remember way back then he was trying to get married but clearly going about it the wrong way. Guess it never worked out for him. Wonder why.

7. I’m hiding this deep in my entry, but it has to come out. I just don’t know how to write this. I may expound upon it sometime later, but this is as much as I can write at this time: I had an abortion when I was 19. It was the result of some scary reckless behavior after a college football game where I was going to school. It was also the result of an assault that I was too scared to go to the police about, even though my roommate called the cops the night it happened. They said if I wouldn’t come down to the station, they couldn’t do anything about it. So, the bottom line is, the whole thing was incredibly traumatic and I wasn’t even sure how to go about getting an abortion. When I finally figured it out with the help of some dear, dear friends (both logistically and financially), I had to endure walking a terrifying gauntlet of protesters at the clinic. The thing that sticks out most in my mind is the vision of a man carrying a stick that had a bloody baby doll hanging from a noose. Anyway. What I’m trying to say is that all of this happened LEGALLY in the state where I lived at the time. I can’t even IMAGINE what someone like the 19-year-old me is going to have to go through NOW. Abortion is now illegal in both that state where I was living at the time I had my abortion AND in the state where I live today. My heart shatters for all of those 19-year-old girls like me…and any woman who is faced with this today. I have so, so much on my heart right now.

8. The other thing weighing heavily on my heart is that one of my angels here on earth is dying. My angel Sam, the first person I made friends with at the cancer infusion center, is in hospice right now. Since I finished treatment, we’ve kept in touch here and there. He’s been through so much and his cancer is terminal, so he was to be on chemo for the rest of his life. Back in January he had Covid the whole month - and he finally snapped out of it and I was thrilled. I was hoping to see him in April, which was the last time I was at the cancer center, but we missed each other. And over the weekend I found out he’d fallen, broke his hip and he’s now in hospice. I have asked him to show me some signs. So far, he’s come to me in the form of a dragonfly as well as a rain cloud that followed Martini and me home on our walk today. He rained on us all the way home. My sweet, sweet angel Sam.

9. Tomorrow is Monday and I’m going to start another Prolon fasting mimicking diet. I’m looking forward to it. While I do love to eat, I’ve also found that I love the feeling I get from fasting (or in this case, fasting-mimicking, because I am eating during this program - just not very much), and I especially love the mental clarity. I’d like for the results of this fast to help snap me back into focus to reach some good goals. I’ve found over the last couple weeks that I feel like I’m losing a bit of focus from not working and being on a schedule. I’m ready. Focus!!

10. Ok. Time to wind down for bed. I have a semi-full day and week ahead of me, including several calls and meetings lined up already. Looking forward to the week ahead.

Love you, friends.
GS