RAD: Chuckles in These Foolish Things

Name: Chuckles

Introduction Platform: We’ve met many times on my evening dog walk in a nearby neighborhood. He’s one of the guys who’d stop to group-chat in person with the fellow dog walkers. Sometimes there would be a group of a dozen or more people and dogs and this guy was one of the older guys I’d joke around with.

Age: 72. He divulged this information this morning.

Relationship Status: In the middle of a divorce, or so he says. He divulged this information this morning as well.

Job: He’d told me he was a writer, but today I found out that he’s also a sculptor and architect. Pretty cool!

Lives: In the neighborhood adjacent to my neighborhood. It’s full of beautiful houses and gorgeous landscapes and the trail runs right through it.

Length of Date: one hour exactly

We Did: Met for coffee/tea at the local coffee shop. It’s where I meet everyone lately: him, my financial advisor, the date with the wanderer… He had coffee, I had tea. We sat outside where it was noticeably cooler than recent days. It was a really nice morning.

He Looked: Like he does on our walks - golf shirt, shorts, old man white socks, sneakers. But this time he was wearing some kind of talisman around his neck. Curious. He’s older, with snow white hair, a snow white beard, and he recently had back surgery, so he stoops over.

I Looked: I wore a pretty tie-die shift dress/sundress, my hat and sunglasses. I wore my hair down under my hat (normally wear my hair tied back when I walk Martini because it’s so freaking hot, but today was much cooler. And there was a nice breeze. I also wore some light makeup, which is different from our normal walks as well when I wear zero makeup. I have never had a frame of time when I’ve spent so many days simply bare faced.

Convo: I can describe our conversation in one word: AWKWARD. From the get-go, this guy is a super sweet man, but uggghhh, painfully awkward. As soon as I got there, he stuttered and was so flustered. We went to the counter to place our order and he insisted on paying, so he got his wallet out of his fanny pack and proceeded to spill all of the rest of the bag’s contents onto the floor. He apologized profusely for everything he did and said. I know he was nervous, but this was beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. He’d say something and then apologize for “how it came out”. He’d start to talk about his writing, but then he’d stop and say it was a long and annoying story and that I don’t want to listen to him complain. He’d throw out a tidbit of fascinating information (he was commissioned for a collection of 30 sculptures for some company in Dubai), but would never finish his thought because it would trail into something else. And look, I truly understand nervous conversation. I’ve been there and done that, but it was beyond hard to follow and simply got uncomfortable. THEN he told me that he wanted to tell me some “confidential” information and apologized to me again before he told me that he’s been in a 35-year marriage, but that his wife HATES him. I asked him why he’d even say that, and he again said that it was a complicated story and that I didn’t want to hear him complain. Well, that’s true enough. Anyway, he told me about how they are going to get a divorce, but not to say anything to anyone from the walking trail group because they don’t know. He then told me that his wife was hounding him asking who he was meeting for coffee and he wouldn’t tell her. Honestly, I don’t know if I believe that they are truly getting divorced. I have this funny feeling that this guy just wanted a distraction so he pushed and pushed me to get coffee with him. And all of that is fine, I guess. I’m fine with having coffee and talking with the lonely old guy (I can tell he’s very lonely), but it was such a struggle to talk with him because he just kept telling me over and over how sorry he was.

High Point: Um. Honestly, the high points were the walks that I took with the dog before and after. And maybe he made me laugh once? Oh…and the fact that he’s worked on a project at my oncology center.

Low Point: Just the awkwardness of it all. We were both painfully uncomfortable. I could tell he felt like he was blowing it the whole time and he could tell that he was losing me after I tried and tried to engage.

How It Ended: I looked at my phone to see what time it was and we’d been there for exactly an hour. I told him I needed to get going and we stood up and said goodbye and I said I’d see him again on our walks.

Chances Are: Yes, I’ll see him on walks, but no, I don’t think I’d even have coffee with him again. Just too weird.

Date Rating: D - , and I hate that because I feel so bad about the whole thing, but I also knew that there’d never be a romantic connection between the two of us. I just felt for the guy and wanted to do something nice. I tried.

Sorry, Chuckles.