Limits. in Since OD is shutting down....

  • June 19, 2022, 4:52 p.m.
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  • Public

I’ve messaged him and let him know for this to work that I need him to start splitting costs down the middle, all communication needs to be through messaging or email and I’m willing to set up a visitation agreement in writing because after he’s seen her and got pictures, he has lies and excuses readily available so he won’t ever take her. It’s not going to be all his own way and I’m angry at myself that I’ve allowed him to be this person for my daughter but now, I’m going to have rules and there’s going to be stipulations.

He has always said that everything is my way and all about my rules but I never had any and that’s why he’s gotten away with being the deadbeat that he is. I’m sick of paying for all of my daughter’s expenses out of my own pocket. I’m sick of never being able to rely on him in now almost 5 years to be even take her for an hour or two. I’m sick of him and his victim card when he’s never done shit for his child.

I’m just getting tired of the heat already and we’ve been home so much lately and it’s starting to get to both of us. My niece has been gone for a week and there’s no other kids for her to play with. My Mom sleeps pretty much all the time and I don’t have any friends. We have 2 more months of this and I’m already losing my mind.

My mental health is on the decline. Some days I honestly feel like I could cry all day long and the panic attacks aren’t as frequent but when I have them, I feel like I’m going to die. Being a single Mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. It would help if I had a support system here. I honestly have nothing.

It’s a hard situation to be in where I desperately need a break but I know letting him have her would be a huge mistake. I know that it would be better to set something up where he goes and sees her at my brother’s house a few times and then maybe let him take her for a couple of hours. I’m completely against him having her overnight, for several days like he originally wanted. I just don’t feel comfortable with that because I’ve seen his lack of patience with her and I have zero trust in him.

Trying to co-parent with someone who’s only mission is to hurt you is exhausting. You can either be a single Mom or be a single Mom with a fucking headache. His only mission is to hurt me and feel that he’s allowed to be abusive and have his ‘power’ so I would rather we just let sleeping dogs lie and maybe try again one day when he has his own place, a job, and a car. I just don’t want to ever let him have her because I worry that he wouldn’t give her back and I’d have to get the cops involved.

I let him have her a little over a year ago and had messaged several times letting him know when I planned to pick her up to which he just stopped responding so I definitely have reasons to worry. Looking back, I wish I would have been more adamant about setting up the visitation before letting her go because he didn’t say until 11pm that he wanted to keep her overnight and then didn’t respond when I asked to get her. It needs to be fully established in writing for drop offs and pick ups because they will just completely run you into the ground if you don’t.

It was bullshit that I had to keep messaging him asking if he was keeping her overnight and it was late by the time he answered and that was to keep me unavailable to work or make plans. He did that intentionally. Then, when I messaged multiple times to arrange a time for pick up, he’d check the messages but not respond. He was trying to play a little game and make me upset at the same time. I will never allow something like that to happen again.

I am so sick of dealing with this guy. Even talking to him over the weekend has me rattled. I’d love nothing more than to let her go with her Dad, but not like this. He needs to step up and actually be a parent. I’m not going along with this deal where he refuses to help financially but I’m to let him take her on Father’s Day so he can show her off and look good to those around him. It’s also super hot and I don’t want to have to worry about her being in the heat and him not being intuitive enough to put sunscreen on her or make sure she’s got a cold drink or care that she’s tired and needs to go cool off inside.

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