I'm afraid.... in Torridaussity Two

That my life is never going to get back to where it was and I sit here alone at my 20 year college reunion crying because of that and my 2 best friends that I came here to see decide going to a bar is more important than spending time with me. The one spent a whole day and a half with just me and I don’t mind her going, but the other only showed up today late because Tennis was more important and then chose going out to a place I’m not really able to handle going too yet. She wants to see him so I get her going. He also hurt me before. I called very few people when I was first given my talking valve for my ventilator. He was one. I had to leave a message and 3.5 months later never called me back. I don’t know what is up with him, but it hurts. As for life never being the same. I pray so hard that I will get back to normal. I’m doing multiple therapies, following doctors orders, etc. But things are still so damn hard. And because it’s things people can’t see they don’t get it. I reiterate that the hard part for everyone else was seeing me lying helpless on the ventilator. The hard part for me is the recovery…learning to sit up, use my arms and legs, sitting in a chair, standing, side stepping, rolling to my side in bed, walking a few steps, a few feet, learning to breathe better, coping with losing my hair…everything. I’m tired emotional and sad. Pray for me.