Another long break in Diary

I'm back again. Lately I just haven't felt like writing. I'm not sure why. And this entry will likely be a short one, as I don't have anything in particular to say. Life has been challenging, as usual, since I wrote last. It's all on me, I realize that, but I'm ready to try to improve my quality of life.

I'm lucky enough to have the basics covered. Clothing, food, shelter, water. The essentials. But I've continued to make poor choices, and that has not made anything better. As easy as it is to stay in a rut, to avoid going outside my comfort zone, I know I need to take that leap and start living differently.

I don't really want to go into specifics. Anyone who has been reading my diary for any length of time knows what I'm talking about, or can at least make a good guess as to what issues I'm referring to. The long and short of it is, because of the way I'm living, I constantly struggle with depression and low self-esteem. But enough is enough, already.

I guess I'm just not as strong emotionally as I used to be. The more time I spend wasting my life, the worse I feel, and the weaker I seem to get. My resolve is...weak.

I can see though that nothing will get better unless I can find the courage to make the necessary changes in my life, and ask for help if I need it. People are willing to provide the assistance I need, I just need to take the initiative and approach them about it, and do all I can on my own.

Anyway, I appreciate the nice notes very much. Take care, everyone. I'll try to be more regular about reading and noting and writing on this site.

An edit:

One of my Favorites (you know who you are) [heh] inspired me to start working on my story again. It needs lots of polishing and rewriting, so when I read it I get a little (maybe more than a little) discouraged by all the things that need fixing. Eventually a pervasive cloud of doubt settles into my brain and I let discouragement win out and I end up not writing. As hard as it is, I need to start writing regularly again, as soon as I wake up, for five days in a row at a time, maybe six, until I finish the first draft, despite all the problems within it. That will give me something to focus on besides how depressed I am with my life. Overall it will help me feel less sorry for myself.

Well, it's 4 AM on a Sunday morning. Time for some MST3K and a couple Benadryl. I don't know if they'll help me sleep or even if I need any help, but I've been getting stuffed up because of the junegrass, and I like drugs. Or I don't like them, but they like me. I'm starting to get a little silly, so I'll end this entry here and head off to bed to cuddle up with my Wii U game pad and watch the show. Reading and noting your entries made me feel a lot better than I did when I wrote the bulk of this entry, by the way. So, thank you for that.