between moods. It isn't happy, sad, angry or any easily named mood. I am just out of sorts. When I felt this way I would go eat something or drink something to mask the mood. Unless it was something high carb or high in sugar it did't change the mood as much as cover it up. I just took a walk. Then I took a shower and while I was in the shower I thought "gee, I should just go to Republic and have a soda, a muffin or something and read on my tablet. At the same time I realized that I am not drinking anything but water for another 24 days and that I am not doing muffins or anything not on my food plan. Boy how my life revolved around eating even when I wasn't hungry. Usually eating to excess. One muffin would turn into two then three then four then become a sandwich and a sandwich or fried chicken on the way home.
Part of why I am feeling this way is guilt I just realized. Guilt and fear. I had a bad guest interaction at work Sunday night. I made a couple mistakes, not bad mistakes with the paperwork. Today I learn that they fired the first GM I worked with in the company. I feel kind of crappy for him. I made a promise to myself that I would walk 2-5 miles a day. I have fallen down on that. So all these things are swirling in a cauldron and making a nice hearty shit stew.
So what am I supposed to do about these feelings. I could go eat. That would make me feel worse. Rita suggested I go write about it. Ok. That didn't cure anything. Serenity courage and wisdom.
Can't do anything for my old GM.
Can't do anything about the past.
The walking I can plan my day better in the future. Not make hard and fast rules for that but listen to my ankles and feet and not do death marches.
I can go drink some water. I haven't drunk enough water for the day.
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