Sir Mopes-A-Lot in just testing

That's me...

I'm always griping about money issues, etc. But it's because it really does bother me. I feel trapped at home. Will pays for everything when we go out so when he works I'm stuck at home.

I do give myself some spending money but it usually doesn't last 2 weeks.

I have 4 birthdays and 2 father's day presents to buy in June alone... The spending money I give myself this payday will just go to that and I'll be in the same situation this weekend. Actually the next 2 weekends since I get paid every 2 weeks.

GRR.

Just annoyed at life.

And I'm annoyed at Shauna again - I dunno even how to explain it, it's weird.

Ok so... years ago she met a girl. She liked her and introduced me to her. She nice. Had no problems with her. But Shauna goes through phases with friends... so they kinda just faded away, I didn't care. I really only hung out with the girl through Shauna.

So recently I ended up going to dinner with the friend and a few other mutual friends. I didn't invite Shauna, it was last minute, and like I said, she was a friend of a friend in the dinner plans.

I always post what I'm doing and tag people so I tagged that I went out to dinner and others.

Now it's like Shauna has made this girl her best friend and they've hung out for the past 2 weekends and she doesn't invite me.

On the one hand, that girl wasn't really 'my' friend, she was a friend through Shauna. Also, I have no money to hang out anyway. BUT it's like Shauna didn't care about this girl for like a year till I posted that I had dinner with her. Now Shauna is hanging out with her a lot and she texts me when they hang out, after they've hung out.

I never ask what she does on weekends and I don't care that she's hanging out with her but she tells me after they've hung out - when not inviting me - as if she's rubbing it in my face that she's hanging out with her.

It's weird. I don't care about the actual girl and when I posted it I wasn't trying to rub it in Shauna's face, eps. since they hadn't hung out in even a year.

It's like Shauna is SO competitive that if I hung out with someone she has to hang out with them MORE and tell me about it.

I'm already in a mopey mood so I just don't need it. And the thing is, cause I'm broke I invited her over to my house for a movie and apps this weekend and she didn't answer me to way later to tell me that she hung out with the other girl instead.

Annoyed.

But I feel like a dark place right now - even at work I'm getting annoyed at stupid shit cause I'm just not happy right now.

I'm lonely. I get 1 day a week with Will and unless someone wants to chill at my house or take a walk [or do other free things] I'm alone all the time and it bothers me. It's summer time! I hated winter and now it's finally nice and I want to DO things and I simply can't.

And the situation probably won't change till August. So I'm just annoyed at my life right now.

Oh - and my mom and sis.

I finally talked with my mom and she basically said that after our kinda hard upbringing she's disappointed that my sis made the choice to get pregnant without thinking about the future.

My sister is pregnant and her job requires a lot of standing. My sis thinks she'll work till her 9th month but my mom doesn't think so. And even though they're looking for a house, they haven't found one they like in their price range yet. Also my sister is depending on her in-laws to take care of the kid so she can go back to work [cause they said they would] but my mom says that my sister shouldn't count on them cause they're close to retirement age and may get tired of taking care of a kid 24/7 with my sister\s crazy restaurant hours. Also there's talk of them retiring to FL in 2 years - so then my sister would have to put her kid in daycare, which my mom is really pissed at because you never know what's going on in a daycare when you're not there.

I can vouch for the fact that kids get upset, kids get hurt - either by other kids or by simply tripping over their own feet. Even when you only have 1 kid to watch, you can't watch them every second and thing happen. So when you have like 4 or more to watch, the likelihood of the kid having an accident goes up. And don't even think about the sadistic weirdos and molesters out there.

Plus the mommy guilt that every mom has when they're working to care for the kid but feel guilt because they're away from the kid. And she knows that her hubby is going to working non stop to provide for the kid and also to avoid the kid. He can't do diapers and feedings if he's not around. He'll only be around for play time and naps and not around for the responsibility.

SO my mom is all pissed off because she feels like my sister put herself in a hard situation.

And I told my mom - maybe she did put herself in a hard place - and I'm sure she's aware of it, but she needs support - not criticism. But my mom said no - she's not gonna sugar coat it, that's not the person she is. Of course, she'll be there for her but she's not gonna act like everything's going to be shiny/happy cause my mom knows it's not.

But I feel like she's come around a little bit more about it. She's already talking about making my sister's old bedroom a nursery and we're discussing baby names, etc.

So that's that.

Other than that - everything's hunky dory...