I miss you more than life in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS

My boyfriend lost his dog today. She may not have been “mine” but she’s been a part of my life for over a year and a half and she was part of our family. I hope that no one has to experience what we experienced today. I am ABSOLUTELY traumatized. I felt so helpless trying to help her limp and lifeless body. She came to us in distress and we couldn’t help her. I HATE TO FEEL LIKE I’m stealing someone else’s moment. Like when my boyfriends leg was amputated, that affected me. What we went through today affected me too…and my kids because I have to explain why she’s no longer here and IT BREAKS MY HEART. Seeing my boyfriend literally jump out of his wheelchair onto the floor to try to help her…these are not things that I can unsee. PLEASE KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS....rest easy our sweet Roxy. We didn’t HELP her. She came to us for help and we did EVERYTHING we could, but we couldn’t save her.

This time last month, we hadn’t even received the news yet of the amputation, and who knew a month later we’d be saying our final goodbyes to our sweet dog.

I just cannot wrap my head around any of this. I don’t want to claim that 2022 is the worst year, but I will say that I’ve never gone through this type of pain repetitively so close together. I cannot process and accept death the way normal people do. My boyfriend also doesn’t open up to me and cry with me like I’d like. I know that everyone processes grief in their own way, but I don’t like to be forgotten about like this isn’t happening to ME too. I watched her fight for her life. I called 911. I called the emergency vet. I SCREAMED at Alexa to tell me how to give a dog the heimlich maneuver. I offered to put her in the car so we could rush her to the emergency vet even though it was already too late. I lifted her lifeless body and put it on her dog bed and pulled her through the house to put her outside. I wrapped her body in my blanket. I went outside and tucked the blanket when I saw that the wind was blowing it away. I called Animal control to come help me get the dog in the car. I went up to the humane society to be sure that we could bring her there. I cleaned up all the mess left behind. I VERY much so went through all of this too. I may not be her owner and I may not have known her since she was a puppy, but I LOVED her too. My kids loved her. And I will grieve just as much as others that knew and loved her longer.