I'm raging in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS

I’m going to be so sad when my mom goes home. I have NO control over my household. This morning, getting my daughter ready for school was an absolute NIGHTMARE. I HATE being a parent sometimes. Absolutely HATE IT! I usually drop her off at school at 7:30Am, but today it was 7:25 and I was out in the car honking furiously at my 6 year old to come outside. She didn’t even have time to eat breakfast, nor did I have time to do her hair. She was an absolute ASS for the sake of being an ass this morning. I’m so over it. As the days go on, my 3 year old starts to act more and more like her…I don’t know how many times I have to say “I can’t do this!” before someone believes me. I don’t have a village. Never have. I have my mom. Luckily she’s here right now, but I’m probably going to be driving her home tomorrow. She’s been here over 2 weeks now. My grandma is missing her like crazy I’m sure, and everyone else she breaks her back for. Anyway, I got a nice little text from my daughters teacher about how she said the F word at school today. I’m SO OVER THIS SHIT!

To hell with quarantines, today I let my son out the room to roam the house. He’s been symptom free since Sunday, so…I made sure to contact school and daycare to let them know that he’ll be back bright and early on Monday.

I just found out my boyfriend ran out of his pain medicine again and that the surgeon said he’s not going to refill his prescription anymore. What is the fucking POINT of them prescribing the damn meds in the first place if they’re just going to treat folks like a junky for wanting MORE. He got his fuckin leg sawed off, he’s allowed to be in pain and want medicine. Instead of an alternate solution, they’re just like…”yeah, no I won’t give you anymore”. FOR FUCK SAKE. I’m so over all of this.

I’m also trying to find a therapist because I’m about 2 seconds away from checking myself in somewhere. At least there I’ll have peace and the ability to focus on MYSELF and MYSELF ONLY.