Who Am I in The Kid Used To Dream

I am searching for myself. What and who I am made of is certainly being challenged. This page is dedicated to dreams - so I’ll share a few I’ve had recently (no particular order).

• Music producer -
  I walk into a studio and first thing out of my mouth to the engineer is, “who do we have today?” Seems a vocal group that is pretty popular is in and I’m producing a song. They are warming up around the piano. Their manager says he’s invited his Dad to set in. (This seems to deal with my insecurities of being able to do a job alone). I oblige (as I would in real life). As we are listening to them rehearse I stop them and make some modifications to their arrangement. The dad smiles and says that is exactly what he was thinking - dream is over.

–seems like I may be dealing with insecurities but amazing that even when I am awake I will use another person’s dim view of my talent’s as a way to dispell the notion I can handle myself. It bothers me but I will often use that as fuel to be hyper creative. I will also play the fool until I have settled on what expectations I feel you have and use your own emotions to decide how far we take it. You never really know if you get my absolute best - you get what wows you and that’s the end of it. I leave myself room.

–Not Quite Sure–

I am at a function or conference / business trip maybe? The why in this dream is never revealed. I am, however, in a hotel. There are several people to a room that seems like we are just visiting. We are having snacks. I am putting clothes in my suitcase. There’s a commotion and we run to another area - banquet room, maybe. There are shots fired. I am very well shielded. The commotion ends and I am back in my room sitting on one of the double beds and someone is behind me. They appear out of nowhere and this tells me that I didn’t pick up on being conscious of my dream. You are given breadcrumbs to know that you are dreaming - if you can pick up on it there’s a way your mind will allow you to be aware and explore. It is usually something or someone out of the ordinary - in this case an unknown person appears behind me. They stick a handgun to my upper shoulder and fire 2 rounds. Then they are gone. I leave the room - I’m not bleeding (breadcrumb #2). I am convinced I need to go to the ER. I apparently walk there because as I am walking out of the Hotel - I walk directly into an ER. I tell them I have been shot and then an argument ensues that apparently not because I’m not bleeding.

– all I have in way of interpretation is that I may feel betrayed by someone in my past that I’ve not dealt with.. It apparently isn’t an emergency and I haven’t lost blood (life) over it. It didn’t or couldn’t kill me because I walked around in this dream never losing blood. I also most believe that whoever this figure is in my past that has wronged me - no one would believe it.

These are my natural interpretations but I can’t help but think there’s some spiritual things there. Our world is continuing to pressure creativity. It’s like we don’t trust one another. We hire professionals but then try to police them. Probably, for good reason. We don’t have the generation supervising us that could be trusted to do a good job. I belong to a generation that doesn’t give it’s best - it gives it’s best illusion of what gets the best response. Excellence isn’t measured by our best - it’s measured by the best response. Are we doing this in our worship? Are we just giving enough to be recognized as worship? Maybe we concentrate too much on the people we used to be - maybe that was the person in my dream shooting me - it may have been my old self trying to take down who I’ve become. If you look back too much you aren’t fit.

Interesting thoughts -

I’ll keep digging –

Maybe you see something I don’t —