Struggling Continues in Torridaussity Two

I’m currently overwhelmed with life nothing new really. I’d like to say something different, but it’s like I figure out one thing and 3 more creep on in. Going to try and update in categories…

Love life- still dating D still stuck in he’s getting all his needs met and I’m feeling more and more like an afterthought. I need to speak up but honestly he is the least of things bothering me so I let it go, but will soon deal with having the talk.

Family- this is a high point, parents are well, brother is well. His gf did just have a health scare, but is ok.

Work- had major changes happening in the last 3 months, but am finally settling into the new routine. I’m working longer hours which yay money boo already was exhausted mentally and physically that doesn’t help. Have to commute 40 minutes one way which consumes more gas so more expense with gas here being 3.55 and continuing to rise.

House- works been delayed so thankful I signed another year’s lease because it wouldn’t have been fixed up by 6 months. Trying to figure it all out is stressing me.

Church/second job- I love church, but my extra commitments and music director job have been overwhelming lately.

Friends- another mainly highpoint. Have good friends not always supportive.

Health- finally saw the breast specialist she said no need for a biopsy, I am a normal risk for cancer which means not very high. The cyst is smaller than I thought as I misunderstood the results. I thought 6 CM turns out it’s 3x5x4 mm. I will have 6 month followup ultrasounds so that if anything changes, it will be seen. So yay for that boo for expensive appointments and imaging.
Saw my arthritis doc who has moved me to the come as needed category as he has nothing to do unless it worsens. But he also added DISH to my list of back issues so yay for having large bone spurs on my spine, not. So those degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis, herniated disc, and arthritis in my back I now have that. I’m surprised I can stand upright. I’m not resting when sleeping instead I lucid dream most of the night waking up exhausted. I’m always tired. ALWAYS it’s crazy.

Car- door handle broke in July, rebroke 2 weeks ago, blew a tire had to get 2 front ones replaced and when getting it aligned found out needed 2 front inner tie rods. Need a new car, she’s 16 years old with 216,000 miles on her,, but it is not the time to buy. Cars are absurdly expensive right now.

Life in general again doesn’t sound too horrible, but there are soo many little things adding up that just make everything seem unattainable. I’m still broke despite working more. I take 2 steps forward to move 10 back. I’m crying a lot as I see my life slipping away from me and being no where near where I want it. I’m lost at where to begin to fix it and wonder if it can be fixed or if I’m broken beyond repair.