The Legend of Qui-Gon Jinn. in The Napkin.

  • Oct. 21, 2021, 2:21 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

So, I watch a lot of geek content, that’s no secret. While I’m a Trekkie first, one or way another I am highly versed in Star Wars. (No comics or beta, only what’s on film.)

By now, you should have passing knowledge that Chancellor Palpatine is the Great PuppetMaster. The Ultimate Manipulator. Controlling everything from behind the scenes.

Okay, a criticism of Episode I is… why Naboo? What does this one little planet have to do with his grand scheme? Yes, playing the senate against itself lead to him becoming Chancellor and beyond.

My point: Palpatine wanted to kill Qui-Gon.

Spoiler alert: He succeeded.

He knew which Jedi would have been assigned to the area to deal with another brush fire. He didn’t just manipulate some foreign faction, like he does at times. He sent his apprentice to get the job done. Does it matter that Maul “dies”? Nope. He’s not needed in the grander scheme, only yet another pawn.

(Watch Clone Wars, and Maul laments how he was just used by Palpatine in a larger scheme.)

Play it forward. What happens if Qui-Gon lives?

He trains Anakin.

I love me some Obi-Wan Kenobi, but there’s a fairly good chance Qui-Gon would have done a better job as a teacher. Moreover, you can change a plot point whereby the Jedi Council refuses to train Anakin - but Qui-Gon does it anywhere. Either by doing it in secret, or publicly leaving the Jedi Order. Either way, Qui-Gon becomes a heroic rebel.

Kenobi? He’d be just some average Jedi. Even losing battles at times. Maybe even jealous that he “lost” his Master to some streetrat boy. Not really angry, just sad and neglected. He stays in contact with Anakin, giving some creedence to his later line about Anakin being like a “brother” to him.


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From here you can go in one of two directions. Either Qui-Gon kills Palpatine in Episode III, or he doesn’t.

If he does kill Palpatine, Anakin would be enraged and kill him, thus killing off a heroic character. That leaves Obi-Wan to do his firedance with Anakin, and barely standing toe-to-toe against a superior opponent.

If he doesn’t, you can still have the same stand-off with Mace Windu. Anakin kills Mace, then does his firedance with Obi-Wan.

Eh, a lot of details kind of get muddled in my head after that. But, I think we can agree the saga would have been a lot different had Qui-Gon lived.


PS: Jar Jar is a sith lord.

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WeAreStarStuff October 21, 2021

Apropos of nothing, have you watched Ted Lasso?

That show feels like a warm hug and I thought you should know.

(Actually, not nothing - your last line reminded me of a character arc in that show, so I’m compelled to comment.)

Timmy™ WeAreStarStuff ⋅ October 21, 2021

Huh. I didn't know Macintosh had yet another TV/streaming service. Seems... weird. What's next, Taco Bell having a streaming service?

WeAreStarStuff Timmy™ ⋅ October 21, 2021

<<taco bell="" joke="" redacted="" scatological="">></taco>

Timmy™ WeAreStarStuff ⋅ October 21, 2021

(Oh, I typed it, read it, thought of the double entendre. And that's on YOUR brain, stranger.)

WeAreStarStuff Timmy™ ⋅ October 21, 2021

One might argue Taco Bell was the original streaming service. 🤔

Timmy™ WeAreStarStuff ⋅ October 21, 2021

Worked at one for eight years, and never had an issue. Still love the 'Bell. Miss me a Volcano Taco. Have a poster in my kitchen.

WeAreStarStuff Timmy™ ⋅ October 21, 2021

Oh, no. I know. I read you back then.

Wasn’t disparaging the Bell, and Pizza Hut has hurt me more than they ever did. Just trying to be funny.

Timmy™ WeAreStarStuff ⋅ October 21, 2021

You are not ill-received, fellow hoo-man.

Gosh, now I miss White Castle. Never had any real issues.

Hrm, do we need to talk about poop? I don't have a preentry here in my head. (Because I do have so many prethoughts that I just don't write down. "Gee, what food makes me poop and what consistency is it" is not one of them. ..Yet?)

WeAreStarStuff Timmy™ ⋅ October 22, 2021

I’m here for it. lol Why be anonymous on the internet if not for poop talk?

😃

Timmy™ WeAreStarStuff ⋅ October 22, 2021

Don't you dare. Somewhere in my prosebox archives, I literally have an entry called "How to Buttsecks."

I'm sure, that on a long enough timeline, I could think of a Monty Python level entry titled, "How to Poop in a Toilet."

If I'm not making someone kind of roll their eyes a little, what's the point in living?

WeAreStarStuff October 21, 2021

Pentultimate line, rather. Not Jar Jar Sith.

SarahConnolly November 15, 2022

Join me as I watch The Legend of Qui-Gon Jinn. I admit I came into the viewing with little to no knowledge of this movie and was pleasantly surprised at how well it flowed. You can check this https://roofpaintingchristchurch.co.nz/ and get more new tips for the latest roof painting. From the introduction of young Obi-Wan Kenobi to the final battle between Darth Maul and Yoda, this movie has it all. The theme of war is paramount in the film and that is what makes it so great.

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