Permanent in First entry

I’m at a loss for words. It’s over. It’s finally over. Everything I have been dealing with....finally it is finished. I have struggled in ways that I never knew were possible. I’ve faced false allegations of physical abuse, sexual abuse, misdemeanor larceny. I’ve faced attack after attack on Facebook. I’ve been told to go Fuck myself. Finally, it has all come down to a final conclusion. No more back and forth or debates. No more waiting for what new insanity is coming. It is over. Thre days of testimony. Listening to lies that tried to paint me in a bad light. Repeatedly having my words ripped put of context, but I do not need to worry about that any more.

Monday we finished the trial. We stopped at 4:52 pm. The judge said he felt like he knew what his ruling would be, but he wanted to review some of the documentation. He wanted to give us the ruling on Tuesday. I had spent the entire afternoon testifying and being cross examined. Her attorney kept trying to corner me and get me to admit to things that were not true. She would play the game of 2 truths and 1 lie with a question and ask me if it was true. I quickly caught on and if ahe asked a question that any part was not true, I would just say no until I made her rephrase it. There was one instance where she asked me about the kids’ last session and she asked if I had told K about it. I said no. She asked why not. I told her because she was copied on the same email I was that provided the details. K’s eye got big and she started whispering that wasn’t true and shaking her head. It was almost as if she were going to jump up and down. She did this when I initially testified she made a big deal about attending counseling sessions and chose not to attend the final session. Her attorney thought she had me. I finally said, I can show you the email. Her attorney said can you find it in the next 5 minutes. I said I don’t know how long it will take me, but I can show you. I stopped and look at the judge and asked him if it was acceptable for me to get my phone out. After about 25 seconds I said here it is. I provided the appointment date and time and stated the email shows my email and her email. I held up my phone and just looked at the Judge and said I’m not sure how this works, but here is the email. The feeling was amazing. Her attorney just made every statement I said valid by trying to call my bluff. Thankfully I have chosen the high road throughout this; at least the majority of the time. So the judge starts handing out tongue lashings mostly to her, but like I said, I admitted to my faults and I did have mistakes. Then he provides his ruling. He gave me Sole Physical Custody of both children. They will live with me. K has visitation everyother week. She gets them for two nights. I also received Sole Legal Custody with the provision that K can have access to the teachers, Dr’s and Therapist’s. I get to select the children’s therapist. Initially this was supposed to be a temporary hearing, but her and her attorney requested this be a permanent hearing at the end of it. I was nervous, but now I am thankful it absolutely is permanent. The decision is made and it it final. There has to be a substantial change in order to modify it. I don’t forsee a major shift in behavior with K. I expect the same games, but all of her false allegations were documented. She doesn’t have the power to harm me or hold the kids hostage. I am truly blessed. I have since discovered she was contacting the school and making decisions and requests for the children without my consent. No more. I notified the school of the judge’s ruling and that she was able to have contact with the teachers, but she was no longer allowed to make any decisions for the children.

I text her last night and told her I would like to tell the children together so we could present this change in a positive light. She said she feels it best for us to use the Parenting Coordinator for all communication. I was disappointed, but not surprised. What she fails to realize is I was trying to include her. I was trying to do what is best for the kids. They deserve to see us present these types of things together to show it is a good thing. She left it for me to do alone. Just another thing I’ve had to deal with, with the kids on my own.

I’m mixed on how I feel. I am relieved. I am anxious for the kids. I am happy they get time with their mom. I am thankful I get a break. At the same time, tomorrow night will be the first night they aren’t sleeping in their beds. The good news is that they will be coming home Sunday. Then they will be home for nearly 2 weeks. They will be safe, stable and secure. I could not ask for more. She got remarried on Sept 11th. I honestly believe it was a stunt for court, but who cares. That doesn’t bother me. That’s her mess. As long as my kids are safe, stable and secure, I’m OK with it. But, it is over.

I’ll try to write and update on other things in the other book I started on here. This is my final post in this one and then it closes. I may even duplicate this post there.