FU Buddy in Dreams And Nightmares

  • Aug. 27, 2021, 6:19 a.m.
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  • Public

Had a nightmare I was back at the medical job. Don’t remember the details but I woke up remembering the place I’m at now and how understanding they are.

I think it stems from a Reddit comment about if you could punch anyone and this one thread turned into horrible bosses. Last night’s dream felt like a ‘Nam flashback from Hell. I think with everything that’s going on upstairs with the withdrawal (I’m starting to feel a bit less anxious) is screwing with me.

Case in point: Picked up mom and my aunt from the airport, met my cousin here at the house then we all went for lunch. My cousin called me out on being an asshole to her (she’s a first class bitch) and eventually I did apologize. Just…every little thing she was nagging about got under my skin like a bad mosquito bite. Then (and she’s fucking had Covid) brings up some anti Vaxx stuff while eating and I shut that shit down immediately. I wanted a peaceful meal, not talking points. We had one, they went on their way and I took mom home.

It feels like I’m off Paxil, everything annoys the piss out of me and instead of holding back I let loose and don’t give a fuck what I say/who I hurt. THAT’S why I’m medicated. Gah!

This entry is making me angry.


Blue 🦋 Flowers August 27, 2021 (edited August 27, 2021)

Edited

Glad you are feeling better and less anxious over the alcohol. That's a very good sign. Keep it up! I had a really bad craving yesterday but got over it. It stemmed from drinking a bit of moonshine at my SILs house when I hung out with her and my brother. I just had 1 glass and it was mostly ice. I barely felt tipsy. I shouldn't have even done it. Wasn't even worth it.

Last time I truly drank was a month ago at my niece's bday and limited myself to 2 beers. I'm pushing forward and I really don't see a reason to drink anything for the rest of the year, even through the holidays. I am trying to only limit myself to rare special occasions through out the year because this craving shows me how quick things can escalate, just by drinking a little bit. But the longer I go, the easier it is.

Ferret Mom August 28, 2021

I hate dreams that fuck with you like that.

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