No Walls in The Kid Used To Dream

As it appears, I have always existed behind walls. I built them high so no one could break thru my barrier. I didn’t want to know anyone and didn’t want anyone to know the real me.

I was conditioned to believe I wasn’t good enough. I was conditioned to believe I was second to everyone else. I was conditioned to believe that no matter how hard I tried I could not achieve anything. So, I built walls. If no one got to know me then they couldn’t see those flaws. I became introverted and believed that’s who I was. This was confusing because when I was playing an instrument or singing I didn’t mind being in front of an audience.

I’ve learned to reject that the conditioning I was receiving is not who I am. I understand that the one making those accusations was insecure and only set out to hurt me because they saw someone other than themselves. They saw an object of their own hurt.

Because I have turned my back on this conditioning in pursuit of who I really am - it has opened up the world to me.

Not only have I began seeing compliments but it’s like I’m being recognized. I am humbled because I don’t want to take the moment for granted. My appreciation of others is reciprocated and to be honest it blows my mind.

I’ve made new friends. I can’t say out loud how grateful I am. I am strengthening my bond to my friends I’ve known for long time. I am cherishing the new friends.

Can someone so deeply scared in hurt ever get to a place to love others and let them in? Of course!!

**Only my musician friends can appreciate this next statement. Do minor chords only represent something mysterious, unknown, or dark? On the contrary - a specific minor in a song can represent the most beautiful part of the composition that makes the relationship unique… I’m thankful my eyes were opened and the walls were broken.