Struggles.. in Life Lessons

  • July 21, 2021, 6:09 p.m.
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So my mother and law and sister in law don’t really like me (they have a bad attitude towards everybody…) they live three hours away but we see them pretty often.
This week I was sick, my husband was taking care of me - I told his mom I wasn’t feeling good, so she knew. She acknowledged that I was sick but never followed up to check on me (it’s fine, I don’t care) she asked my husband how I was was at one point, so then I started feeling better and then my husband got sick, mine lasted around 48 hours his lasted maybe 4. His mom called me about an hour after she heard my husband was sick and was asking how he was and if I was taking care of him and told me if he got any worse to let them know cause they might have to come over.. didn’t really ask much about how I was feeling…

In general my mother in law and sister in law are just snobby to me.. they don’t really talk to me when I’m at their house - I know they talk bad about me behind my back - they always tell me to hurry and get pregnant and tell me what I’m “allowed” to name my kids - my sister in law tells everyone we don’t want to be a part of their family or associate with them (which I know my mother in law fed her that garbage)… it’s all ridiculous.

Anyways my problem is they act like this but then play the victim to my husband.. my husband is the type that doesn’t care what people think, doesn’t want to make his parents upset just does what he wants type of person. So when I tell him his mom or sister is being ugly he just says he’s not their dad he can’t do anything about it, he doesn’t want to cause a problem because we don’t see them everyday (so when we are with them he wants to be happy and not griping) or when he talks to his mom on the phone sometimes she’ll end with “we love you guys” and my husband says see she likes you…

He had to go there for work and I stayed home for the weekend and he claims that his family was sad I didn’t come and they missed me… so basically they are trying to look like they are being nice in my husbands eyes.

I just don’t know if I should keep telling my husband to try to fix it and talk to them or if I should just let it go… sometimes my husband thinks I’m the one not being nice enough and not trying very hard… and his mom agrees and tells him I don’t act like I like them.. I just don’t know if I should keep fighting or step back and let them do and say what they want.. any advice?

Jodie 1 day ago

I would defiantly keep trying and when they say something like "we love you guys" you turn around and say yeah right.....And when they say something you think is nasty i would react like "No you don't"
And as far as naming your future children I would name them apple and orange just to piss them off.....
But all joking aside I think getting along and tolerating family and maybe pretending to pay nice is the key just for your husband.

CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ 1 day ago

Yeah… it just gets old.. being around them and being nice, when I know they don’t like me… I really want a good relationship it’s just difficult.. my husband wants to fix it and knows I’m right but he’s afraid that I’d he does something it will only get worse for me.

Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ 1 day ago

I wouldn't worry about your in laws because they will always love your husband no matter what and what he says is about them and you and has nothing to do with you. But maybe just be snarky when you think they are being mean or whatever...
Stupid question? how much worse can it really get? And what is the worst they can say or do to your husband that they haven't already done?

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