It figures. I have a crazy connection it just doesn’t work out. The woman that I was super interested in said that right now she isn’t able to give me the attention I deserve. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t want to give up hope. We had so many thing in common and the chemistry was actually really good. I kept it classy and maintained my dignity. I told her I though she was amazing, but I understood. She’s going to school full time, working full time and has her boys 2 weeks at a time all by herself. It’s a lot. I really believed we had potential, but it seems the timing wasn’t right. I told her that I hope she never gives up on her dreams and continues to believe love is possible.
I figured that would be the end of it. There really wasn’t anything else to say. I have moved past begging anyone to want to be with me. If they choose not to place me as a priority, begging them will not change anything or will only lead to a toxic relationship in the future. I received a response that said “I think you’re absolutely amazing as well. I don’t know how you do it all… I really don’t. I don’t want to rule out a future for us, if you don’t either, and if you felt comfortable having play dates in the future and introducing me as a friend then we could do it that way. I hope you don’t give up on your dreams and love, either. ☹ I truly felt like we insanely compatible.” I don’t know if she is playing hard to get and wants me to chase her or if maybe she is genuinely overwhelmed. Part of my healing has shown me how much I do not want to play the hot and cold game. You either like me or don’t. You either want to out in the work and be my partner or you don’t. No begging required. I will cheer you on, I will love you unconditionally, I will be patient, but I will not beg. I value myself and if I don’t love myself then how can I expect others to love me? My heart wants to believe she’s just struggling like she says and the timing isn’t right. Who knows what the future holds. I can leave the door open for now, but she will need to show me that she is ready to put in the work beside me. The world continues to turn. Life won’t stop. I grow stronger each day. What I can say is that when I do find that partner, the world better watch out. If she can love as hard as I can and is willing to work as hard as I am, we will be completely unstoppable.