Infatuation in First entry

So here I am. I’m crazy over this woman. Part of me is so excited that I really can’t believe it’s possible. Every since Sunday, after we talked, I’ve seen her really starting to come out of her shell. She is expressing her feelings and we are talking more.

It was funny last night she sent me a picture of the different attachment types and we had a discussion about what we were. She and I are opposite attachment types. I’m the anxious attachment type and she is the avoidance attachment type. Essentially, I was reassurance and attention and she needs her space. Go figure, right? I kind of suspected this about here which is why I have tried to make sure instep back and control myself. The odd thing is I had researched my attachment types a few days prior to her bringing it up. I don’t necessarily believe it’s a deal breaker as long as we are aware of the needs of the other and we are able to remain self aware of ourselves. I think it’s a huge plus that we are both researching and learning about ourselves in order to improve ourselves. The fact we can discuss it makes that research even more important. I’ve never really experienced anything like it. It’s my hope that we can continue to understand ourselves and eachother better.

The flip side of being excited is I’m a bit scared. I’m afraid if she goes away. Then what? I know I’ll survive, but I’m actually putting forth an effort here. I want to make sure I can learn from my past mistakes and build things in a healthy way. I think this is a good thing. It helps keep things in perspective and allows me to focus on building a strong foundation. Again, we will see what the future holds.

Yesterday was a good day. I actually received my summons for the finalization of my divorce. Yes, I know girlfriend, legally married....some of you will judge me. Whatever, I am glad to have that discussion. The covenant of marriage was ended when my ex committed adultery. Biblically marriage was not up to the government or state to sanctify. Just my opinion. If you have heartburn, let’s discuss. Anyways, I returned service as quickly as possible so a judge can review and we can be finished with the legal side of things. I’ve heard people say they were upset or hurt by it. I am not. I’m ready. If you’re new and wondering why go back a year in my posts and read through them. From this point forward I won’t look back. I’ve already planned it. As soon as it’s final I am going to start a new book on here and let it be the end of this one. My hope is the next story I’ll be writing will have more happiness, smiles and be filled with love. I’m looking forward to putting this one behind me.