56#s down from WLS on 12/21- 77#s down from HW
295 HW 274 SW 218 CW 180 GW
I just wanted to mention here that I tried jogging for the first time in forever.
I put the treadmill up to 4 speed and jogged for 30 seconds twice. I maybe could have gone to 1 full minute but I was scared or something, I dunno.
Anytime I’ve tried to jog in 30 sec intervals I’ve gotten shin splint pains after. So I WANT to jog/run but I was simply too heavy in the past. I’ll see how my legs feel later today before I push farther.
This time last year I was in the beginning stages of even attempting to get weight loss surgery and I was dealing with the guilt of it.
There’s an old entry that showed how I felt like I was “giving up” on my weight loss goals (at least as far as me doing it own my own) but later realized I was just “surrendering” to the help of a doctor.
A good example is: say you had to write a science paper but your lap top won’t work.
Giving up means you walk away from the science paper and just go on to another project, like art project instead, leaving the science paper unfinished.
Surrendering would mean you still complete the paper, just a different way - like completing your science paper by hand writing it.
Losing weight, esp. on my own, has always made me feel so hopeless - but luckily I didn’t accept feeling hopeless/powerless. I’ve tried so many diet plans, diet pills, diet menus and food services. Gyms, classes, exercise equipment, videos, accountability partners, trainers, etc. As well as binging/purging and starvation. I didn’t ever give up - or at least not for long. When something didn’t work, I tried a different way - I failed in every way!
The goal of losing weight was always in my mind - I was just having a lot of trouble succeeding. For a multitude of reasons. Yes I blame my lack of will power a lot, but it’s also genetics, how I was raised, emotional issues, physical issues, who I surround myself with and the fact that sugar is an addictive substance.
Trying for this surgery was just another one of those twists in the road towards finally getting to a healthy weight.
And now that I’ve come out the other side of the surgery and I’m 75lbs down and I’m jogging and I’m fitting into carnival rides with my niece and I’m having more options in clothing stores and no longer have a fatty liver or diabetes - I think surrendering to a doctor’s help was the BEST thing I could have done for myself!
I know that plenty of people will want to shame a person for getting surgery to lose weight and saying that the surgery is a “cheat” to weight loss.
WHO GIVES A FUCK?!
If a cheat is what adds years and joy to your life, then fucking cheat LOL.
Actually I’d be happy to say it’s a cheat, but it’s not that easy… I battle my food addiction every day and there’s plenty who fail in the long run and gain it all back. Losing weight certainly is easier with the surgery but it’s not magic. Esp. for someone like me with NO food aversions after surgery. I can still eat ANYTHING I want. I almost wish I couldn’t eat pasta or rice or dairy anymore, that’d help me more in the long run but nope - there’s nothing I can’t eat lol.
I guess I’m just grateful I finally took the plunge and got this surgery that I was really afraid and ashamed to do for a long time. If I could go back in time and do it sooner, I would.