Fresh in First entry

Have you ever had a moment where it felt like you turned a corner and things finally seem to be coming back together? This past weekend was one of the best that I’ve had in a long time. Like, a really long time. I was fairly productive, I see things coming together. I’ve been slowly progressing since my ex appears to be occupied with her baby and I have no need to argue and fight. The distance is so amazing.

I’ve been on FB dating for about 6 months. Not really with the intent of jumping into anything that would be serious, but rather see what’s out there. I’ve talked to a few people, but there’s never been any chemistry. Which is fine. My life has been a little crazy and I’ve really been focused on my healing and figuring out what exactly I want. It’s funny because I have a friend that said he wanted to check it out for himself. He was asking my advice and I told him to set incredibly high standards, know what you want and do not settle. I think that has been the reason I haven’t clicked with anyone. That was until the end of last week. I came across a profile that was different. She was educated, had common values and was beautiful. We matched and so I decided to start messaging. This time it was different. I usually send a long message and introduce myself. I try to do more than just say hi and leave it there. Her response was amazing, it had substance, it was interesting and I was intrigued. We messaged back and forth, both actually chatting and really engaging. She said that she liked my family focus and that I didn’t want to play games. After talking for a few days, I finally asked if I could talk to her on the phone once I finished getting my kids to be. We talked the entire night. It just flowed. Everything just seemed seamless. I was a bit nervous because I wanted to be very real. I wanted to share what is going on in my life and hear about her life. We learned that we both share the same love languages, the way we process information is the same, our visions for what a blended family would look like and so many other little details that just seemed to align. It leaves me with a positive outlook. Like I could definitely see this becoming something serious. I know it’s early, I am not so naive to think that we seem to have a strong connection, let’s jump straight to marriage. No, I am hopeful that we appear to have a strong foundation that we could build a strong and healthy relationship. My heart is hopeful that I may have actually found a person that has that shared values, that has a shared vision of the future and appears to have that same desire to find someone that they can walk hand in hand through the storms of life.

It’s odd because I really wasn’t expecting it. I wasn’t really expecting to actually think that there could be a person that is genuine and intelligent and interested in me. I thought that it would be a long time before there would even be a glimmer of hope. At this point, I think the take away is that there is hope for the future. To tell the truth, I would love to have found my person, but I think it is best for us to proceed with caution, take out time and let things develop. I was telling her last night, that it is amazing that we seem to share a real connection and I genuinely have feelings for her, but we need to take our time. If this is going to turn into a forever thing, there is no reason to rush it. There is no reason that anything has to happen immediately. We should learn about each other. All of our quirks, pet peeves, how we need to be supported. The key is to learn all about each other before we jump.

It’s still really early. I guess the reason I wrote this out is because for the first time in a very long time, my heart feels happy and hopeful.