Light in First entry

Today was good. I felt incredibly normal. I had a job walk with my boss, who was surprised at the progress we have made. He was pleased to say the least. He wants me to take on a 5 million dollar project when I am finished with this. It’s supposed to grow to 10 by the time it’s completely finished. Honestly, I think I can run it at this point, but that’s a lot of money and a huge commitment. It would mean I would be due for a significant pay bump, but then that would be a huge blessing. It’s a great opportunity, but without some finality in my custody situation, there’s a lot of risk there. I am going back and forth on it. To be honest I’m relieved this is my biggest source of stress at the moment. It’s nice to know that I can focus on life and that I don’t have to deal with baby mama drama.

Speaking of that front It’s not over, I’ve just stopped letting her have power of my mental health. No longer do I need to fight with her. She recently emailed me saying she has moved forward with getting the kids turkeys to show at the state fair and I need to apply some “forward thinking” on how the kids can practice. Lol. I asked my son and he wants to do martial arts over 4H. We can’t afford to do both. That’s just the reality of the situation. Especially since she doesn’t pay her child support and continues to cost me money in court. She sent me an email yesterday. I’ll probably reply today or tomorrow. I’ll do it on my time. There isn’t anything pressing and I’m finished jumping as she wants. I’m going to think ab and try to be thoughtful in my reply. We will see how it goes.

Well, apparently I didn’t submit this, and I fell asleep. I sent the reply. I told her we could afford to do both. She replied and said I was the only one that was holding things up. Regardless it was a pretty useless conversation. It’s impossible. Unless I just submit to her demands, she is unwilling to discuss anything and I mean anything.

We don’t go back to court until September. Heaven knows why it’s taking so long. I just pray something within her gives. Until then, I keep pressing forward and just hope that I can keep the kids stable as she chooses to do nothing, shows them her new pool and tries to make me the bad guy.