Continued in First entry

Yesterday was....disappointing to say the least. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t really seem to go against me, but it wasn’t what I was hoping for. The entire day was filled with the expert testimony and my Ex’s testimony. I didn’t get the opportunity to speak at all. We got to the end of the day and it is to be continued. By the end of the day it was definitely turning.

I felt it was pretty obvious that she was not telling the truth across the board. She stated she left me because I had outdated beliefs. That I believed that a woman belongs in the kitchen. She completely forgot all of the years I supported her working. She must have forgotten how it was actually my idea that she go get her Master’s degree. She must have forgotten begging me to be a stay at home mom so she could spend time with the kids and taking care of the house or the fact that when I realized she was struggling not having time away from the kids, I suggested that she finds a part time job so she could interact with others. It must have slipped her mind when she got hired, how she asked me if she should try to get more money and I told her that the reason women are paid less is because they don’t negotiate. She ended up getting $2 per hour more. Whatever that’s irrelevant, never the less it’s funny.

When my attorney brought up the larceny charge to her, she started acting sheepish and said “Ummm…Ummm that’s on going. I don’t think I can talk about that here.” The judge quickly chimed in and said you are the complainantant, you don’t have a 5th ammendment right here. That did give me a little chuckle. She tried to explain her reasoning. That I “took” his phone at night and during school hours. Her video wasn’t working, but I wish I could have seen her face when my attorney asked if she was aware our school system has a policy against elementary school students bringing cell phones to school. Then the big question came, where is the phone right now. She had to admit that she had it because my son had given it back to her. I did feel vindicated.

The contempt charge was also discussed. She admitted to each and every exposure that I documented. I was actually surprised. She tried her best to blame me when she thought she could. I believe the order is clear. He can’t be on property during her custodial time and the children shall not see or be exposed to him at all. So in my opinion it stands to reason that showing them a video of him is exposure. Having him on speaker phone in the car is exposure. Doing anything that would have the kids interact directly or indirectly is exposure. Again, I feel like she was exposed.

Next thing to look at is my “verbal abuse.” She cherry picked text messages or parts of text messages. She forgot to show where she told me to “go fuck yourself”. She had to read that out loud in court and she seemed shy to say the actual word. It was interesting.

She held up a text in the middle of a conversation where I was trying to get repaid because her gym membership was coming out of my bank account. She brought up a Christmas schedule even though I initiated the conversation about the gym membership. Then she said I’m always focused on money and never the kids. My attorney showed the full conversation and proved that I’m not always focused on money, but I initiated the conversation about finances.

She lied and said I write her a message and I just state everything as a fact and say thus is how it is going to be. She said she tried to establish a communication schedule, but I refused to even consider her position. My attorney busted out my initial email where I genuinely tried to reason and I tried to present what I thought was a reason schedule. I explained a schedule would allow her to see that I’m not withholding communication at all and that it would provide consistency for the children. Then she had to read her reply. ” One day soon you will know what it’s like not to speak to your children everyday.” Then we came to the second attempt. I explained that the counselor asked me to try again and I presented my schedule. She replied with the exact opposite days. I took my schedule and incorporated her recommended days. So much for her argument that I didn’t even consider her position.

I believe at the start, the stuff she pulled out of context that genuinely made me look bad. Then it started to turn once she had to provide the true context.

When we go back she finishes being cross examined and then I get my turn. That’s when I am going to address my short comings. I’m more than willing to say that I’ve had my share of learning experiences and parenting fails. The difference between she and I is that I’m willing to acknowledge that I have not been perfect, but this is how I responded to those failures and grew as a parent. I have done the absolute best that I can and I can honestly say that I have been focused on what keeps the kids safe stable and secure from the start. We probably will not go back until the end of July. That seems like forever. Until then I continue to do my best and hope I can avoid her traps.