Big fat chicken in Torridaussity Two

  • June 10, 2021, 8:17 a.m.
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  • Public

That’s me…I saw the boy last night and wasn’t brave enough to stand up and ask for what I want…my only defense which is a poor one is that he asked about things that made me feel he’s more committed than I thought. I know I’m not 100% happy, but my fears are really getting to me. Do I give up the percentage of happy that I am and take the chance I’ll find more? Do I let things go a bit more to see if he really just takes a long time to trust someone? Is it even possible for me to have the courage to state what I want because deeply I doubt I’ll ever find it anyway? I really am a mess about this. Read a quote once....”we accept the love we think we deserve.” Maybe deep down I still think too poorly of myself and until I believe in myself I’ll be trapped.


Confessions_of_a_love_addict June 10, 2021

That quote is so true.

Darkest Days, Brightest Nights June 10, 2021

That’s me too.

Always Laughing Darkest Days, Brightest Nights ⋅ June 10, 2021

Hugs

Deleted user June 10, 2021

Maybe instead of having the conversation in person you can write it as a letter or email? It may be easier. Of course you’re still going to have that fear, but to be honest if he can’t handle listening to what you have to say, or if he gets defensive by it that’s not a reflection of you but him. In the grand scheme of things it’s a relatively minor conversation to have. Compared to the bigger ones that will happen if you stay tougher.

I remember having a similar thought process back with Chris. I wasn’t happy but at the same time I knew I would be unhappy single. At least I had something no matter how little it was. But It came down to this: as sucky as it would be to be single again, at least I had a chance to meet someone better. Even if it was a 1% chance. Where as there was 0% chance if I stayed. Or as my grandad used to say, 1 slice of bread is better than having no bread at all.

Don’t settle. If you do you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass later when you realize how much precious time you wasted.

Always Laughing Deleted user ⋅ June 10, 2021

I am thinking of writing it all out it is easier for me. I know I'll be unhappy if I settle.

colder June 10, 2021

Things are often imperfect at the start of a relationship but as things progress I think we should see improvements… a gradually rising level of commitment and an increasing sensitivity to the others needs, integrating the person fully into your life (with friends and family), etc… hopefully that is something that will present itself as time goes by.

Always Laughing colder ⋅ June 10, 2021

I hope so, but by hope is waning.

Small Town Girl June 11, 2021 (edited June 11, 2021)

Edited

I was going to suggest the same as the above noter to write an email or letter. You need to have that conversation. Im also thinking about what another note said for both you and me, going back to being single is hard! But even with a 1% chance of finding something better, that may be the best move. For both of us. It's so, incredibly hard I know. But good advice to think on.

Always Laughing Small Town Girl ⋅ June 11, 2021

Thanks I keep praying over it.

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