Manipulation in First entry

So my ex.had the baby. Not really thrilled, but not sure I am terribly upset either. At the moment, just feeling kind of blah about the whole thing. Well, jump forward to the last couple weeks. She brings the baby. Whatever I get it. At the same time, part of me feels.its just an attempt at manipulating the kids. They don’t get the whole concept. It just bugs me. It’s a weird place. Suddenly the baby comes and everything is fine? Oh you ran off, got pregnant, acted completely inappropriately and now suddenly ita all better? Healed by a baby? Let’s just pretend you never told our son he would never be as successful as you. Let’s forget how you left him on his birthday so you could hang out with your boyfriend. All your actions have been toxic, but now oh siblings…happy family.....ignore your big black eye. Just love.....

She sends me an email Friday night basically gaslighting me, telling me it’s all my fault that my son is pushing her away. It’s interesting how it’s always my fault. How I’m always the one problem. I’ve noticed a trend after this last email. Friday nights are an opportune time to antagonize me. What passes me off the most is I let it get to me. It threw me into a funk all weekend. That and she hasn’t paid any child support in a month. You have money to blow on your boyfriend, but not pay for your kids. Yet, you still expect me to take them to visit you over an hour away so you can post on your Facebook about sibling love. I just dropped $485 on groceries and clothes for the kids, yet you can get your warm and fuzzy feeling off my providing for the kids. I’ve provided their physical, emotional and financial security for the last year and you still believe you deserve 50/50 custody? I’ve done all of that despite your allegations and refusal to help with the kids. You consistently lie on me and when I call you on your lies, you have the audacity to tell me that when our son told the counselor you lied to him that it seemed convenient…are you insane? I’ve been doing everything in my power to protect then from the truth. I realize you can’t take ownership of your choices or realize how they have impacted the children, but to gaslight me and blame me??? You’re a terrible human. I’m tired of it. If I could, I would just block you out of my life. Noone should have to deal with this.

My ex has said multiple times that the kids will grow up and discover the truth. The reality is I can’t wait for that day to come. Where they can look at just the timeline and see exactly what happened. Look at the facts and make a determination. Until then, I have to continue to push forward and fight. I have to do everything I can to make sure they are able to get through this safely and with the least amount of damage. I guess what I am fearing is if the court mandates she gets unsupervised visitation, with all the false allegations I’ve dealt with to date, how do I manage that? It won’t stop. I don’t see her ever stopping. It’s pure insanity.