may 27 in idea barrages

  • May 25, 2021, 7:36 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

  1. It is Elon Musk’s new MUSK WHEEL. It is a five-sided perfect pentagon. It just barely works at all. Tens of thousands of men in fedoras losing their shirts on Dogecoin declare “A GENIUS REINVENTION! FIVE SIDES INSTEAD OF ONE! 500% EFFICIENCY!”

  2. Is the potatohead’s consciousness in the potato? In the plastic face pieces? In an ephemeral moment of combination betwixt the two? When it grows its own eyes, do the plastic eyes still see? Is it like a conjoined twin thing?

  3. Boeheim in his senility just wants to watch his sons brick threes. It makes him happy, I dunno. Can we put him in a VR rig where he can watch that for the rest of his life & the rest of us can just move on? Like the Wookie grandpa’s porn helmet in THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL.

  4. Most of the local stores up and closed, over time, and while slowly some were replaced by redemption centres and fulfillment centres, all it amounted to was empty beer cans and tractor trailers hauling nothing in particular. No fulfillment or redemption to be found.

  5. New eye doctor, reiterations of family history, father’s cataracts, gramma’s maculars, echoes of the past, flash-forwards to futures. Aftershocks, appetizers, what was, what’s to come. The now, so hard to touch, averaging out the future and past, hoping that mean is close enough.

  6. You know what would be a terribly-sad but absolutely necessary film? PARA-SOCIAL NETWORK.

  7. If podcasts of amateurs and journalists trying to play the role of detective is “true crime” what does “untrue crime” look like? What would that genre comprise? Surrealist crime stories?

  8. Would you have learned what you learned, loved who you loved, helped who you helped had you gotten the Standard Rich & Famous Contract from THE MUPPET MOVIE you wanted? No. From mansion high, all you can see is stars. Down here, that’s where the people are & they’re what matters.

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