Baby love in Bittersweet

So the birds are doing AMAZING this week. They are starting to let us hold them. Kraken likes to be on my head haha. Siren still bites but kraken is getting easier to collect. When kraken gets on my head, he wants to be as tall as Tony and siren. And being on my head has him as tall as T lol. Its funny. I take him off and put him on my shoulder and he flies to T’s head. I got a video of it. It was funny! They are silly. But ive been reading about Indian ring necks and they are harder to hand tame then other breeds of parrot. They prefer to be a bit wild but in just over a week we have them from bitey and flighty to ketting us hold them a bit. They put themselves to bed around 8 when the sun goes down and are chittering in the cage by 7 am. They wake me up. No more sleeping in on closing weeks. Like this week.

Work is actually going great. My manager told me the new store manager has me on a pedestal and really likes me. That i have nothing to worry about with him. But that makes me REALLY nervous. See at work, im effervescent. Im extremely outgoing, bubbly, full of personality. And my husband has said a few times in the past, Men can see it as flirting. Im open and welcoming all the time. Im great with customers and ive gotten a lot of compliments including yesterday when a woman hit on me but thats another story haha. When i worked retail as a teen i was the same way.. There was this guy at work who developed more then a huge crush on me. It ended up being an ugly mess when he finally got it through his head i wasnt leaving T for him. He ended up stealing a lot of money from me and blowing state. It was bad. But we lost our house for it, was homeless for a while and ended up pregnant with B while living in a tent, then later a camper for a winter ( in alaska) yeah it was a mess. Anyway this is always in the back of my head that i can not in any way make it seem like im leading a man on with this open personality… My manager told me there were a lot of rumors of management sleeping with hourly workers and giving favors. you hear a lot of that in corporate world but this is basic retail right?!?! So shes telling me in one breath this story, and in the next that the manager loves me and thinks i can do no wrong. So all of a sudden im more aware of him. Did she tell me that as a warning? Or just to be open. There wasnt much lead up and no reason FOR her to tell me that. I walked into the break room and over heard a bit of a convo of someone getting suddenly fired and rumor is she slept with a higher up. Then she ends up telling me about my new store manger LOVING me. Like gushing. And now im nervous. As a woman you are always aware of the men around you, and this kind of thing… But i dont know. Trying not to read into it. … I like him otherwise, but im not too sure how to take him sometimes. Anyway… off that subject. Im learning a new paperwork/background skill that management does. They hand us up front a lot to do so they can work faster. So im learning the legal paperwork behind selling trailers with the DMV. I started getting confused so shes going to go over it again with me tomorrow when we are quiet. Which i appreciate. Im closing so we can do it in the evening. Ive trained a bunch of new kids lately. Manager M appreciates how much time and care and energy i devote to each one so that they get a start. They love that i take the time to explain things to co workers and customers in a way that is easy for them to understand and takes all of the stress and pressure away. I really think spending so much time in preschool as an aide helped a lot here! Endless patience lol.

At work i can be this bubbly person i dont always feel at home. Im working on being more loving to T. I find sometimes its just easier to you do you and me do me. But i have to put the effort into being more loving. At home i can be depressed or sad and at work. All that crap just fades away and im just this person that most people like to be around. It looks like i may be loosing one of my girls though. Clothing wants her and the manager there is really hard to get a long with. I was supposed to go there and she didnt like me. So i stayed up front. But they like this girl i just trained. I like her too. But what bitchy wants bitchy gets… So im going to loose my girl. Its a bummer because i like her a lot. And she likes me haha. But everyone tells me that im just this amazing fit in my job.. I just wish i got paid 16 an hr like most other retailers around me. Mine is minimum which is 12 32. but walmart across the street is 16… Sometimes i want to leave. But i really just like the people im around too… Im going to need a side gig for spending money lol.

ok Im going to get off. Its 9 pm and i have to be to the EDS specialist tomorrow at noon with B. And so we begin the journey of EDS and what we can do…