Hardly slept last night. Ate at least three big handfuls of freakin’ chocolate eggs. I know the alcohol is put of my system when I’m craving sugar hardcore. Got up at nine-thirty AM after falling asleep around six to see the doctor.
We went over some traumas that haunt me and will start there. I did mention that I’m afraid to approach this intense therapy that I’m willing to try. If i don’t help on this I will end up killing myself. Either by my own hand or by the drink. My dad and uncle both drank themselves to death by age fifty. That leaves me twelve years. I don’t wanna go out like that that early!
I managed another hour or so of napping time before work. Honestly, I’ve been out of it all day. Might have something with taking two melatonins around five in the morning. If I hadn’t I would not have slept. Work was good, went at my own pace. Over did it last night and ached all over. Tonight it’s only my back and left arm, mostly in the elbow.
Peacock was kind enough to bring me my medication (forgot to take) and my vape pen to work on first break. We hung for a smoke, hug and kiss. I got razzed by a co-worker on the way back in but hey, worth it.
Currently laying on the couch watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The night I got her to first watch it with me was funny. She had never seen it before so of course I HAD to put it on.
I wish I had an electric weighted blanket. Not cold. I think the heat would do my body some justice. One last cigarette then sleep.
It is Good Friday.
Make it great.
“I fart in your general direction!
Your father was a hamster and your mother reeked of elderberries!
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second-a time!”
Last updated April 02, 2021