Saturn Day in Current Events

I am upset that I am upset. All of the changes in my life are positive ones. I suppose I am overwhelmed with all that I have to sort out. I was triggered yesterday morning when I woke up and saw that it was snowing. I’m way past my winter breaking point. The skies are wide open and sunny right now but it is -2c. Give me your warmth Jesus! I fell asleep the other day and a person I follow on IG shared his quick reaction to his con-19 restrictions being lifted in Arizona. All of them are gone just like that. So it’s warm and free in Arizona. There is no end in sight here in Chinada. We are pretending there is a variant. Health Canada, the CDC and the Public Health of England were all forced to admit that they do not have the original virus isolated. No proof of its existence whatsoever. Now we have a magic new one that we can test for and we all have to hurry up and take their lethal injection. People are so stupid.

My ethnic group is the one they’re targeting with the con-19 product that they’re calling a vaccine. My province is probably going to be the one to try and make it mandatory. Only 11 000 idiots in my city have taken it. They will be dead in five years or a complete burden to society. The propaganda is strong here, they’re trying to make it seem like we’re racing to get it. These larpers are going along with it. My friends and family are going along with it. A lot of them are actually considering it. We’re in the upside-down where it is a virtue to be ignorant about vaccines and ignorant to educate yourself on the medical literature about vaccines.

Trudeau laughs and scoffs at his lawsuits against him for violating our constitution and charter of rights. He straight up says he doesn’t have time for our rights because he needs to save us and protect us because a 99.9% survival rate is not enough for people. The benefits far outweigh the risks they say. What benefits? It does not provide protection, it does not prevent transmission, it does not provide mask exemptions, it does not lift social distancing and lockdowns, it makes you test positive etc. People actually believe in him. The man who brags about getting stellar headlines because he funds all of the news. Those cable news cultists are an absolute burden to society. The faster we give up all of our rights and freedoms the faster we will get them back. That’s probably what their train of thought is. I don’t have their extra chromosomes so I can only speculate. I’m sure that’s what they would have tried to sell Anne Frank. The passport is coming, that is what this is all about. It’s like Canada and Israel are racing to become the first global citizens.

Anyways, my day did get better yesterday. I learned some new things at work. I wanted to work closer with Brandon and we ended up spending the whole day together. He had a lot of positive things to say to my boss when she asked how the training was going. I’m impressing everyone so that’s good to know. Brandon is young and he made a comment about the other half of the team that stuck in my craw. We break into two groups, group one happens to be the group of old fucks. Old fucks is what he called them and that made me feel some type of way but I’m not going to be a brat about it. I complain about that age group a lot on here because they frustrate the hell out of me but I do not hate them. I’m not a good hater. It’s like arguing with adults who believe in Santa Clause. Who thinks you’re a crazy conspiracy theorist because you don’t believe a man can visit everybody in one night. My friends six year old figured out that Santa was a psyop. That’s cute, his father is a truther and that made him so proud.

After work, Toni and I officially applied for that apartment. I needed two paystubs and I haven’t had two paydays until now so fingers crossed. These are positive changes. I was fantasizing about getting sleep in a bed again when I was on my way to pick her up. I can hang clothes up. I can have my stuff and use it too. If we don’t get this apartment we can still keep looking. I’ll be living out of suitcases at my mother’s in between. I’m 35 and I’ll be living in my mother’s basement, if I was an alcoholic I would officially be premium dating material.

Then my sister and her husband went to his mother’s for the night. I came home to an empty house. If I had any energy I would have made better use of it. Just being alone is enough. Toni bought me a bottle of wine so I had a glass or two. I ended up getting around twelve hours of sleep last night. I’ll have the morning to myself so I’m going to make the best of it. Or not? Just being alone is enough. They’re going to eventually come home hungover and miserable like losers. Then it will just be a day of tension. They are probably expecting rent from me. It’s not that I want to be vindictive and spiteful and not want to pay them after kicking me out but I do have new expenses to worry about because they are kicking me out.

A few entries ago I mentioned how I wanted to jump on the bandwagon of NoFap and so far so good. No porn. Essentially. I had a massive headache the other day and I was like, is this withdrawal? lol The last time I tried this I “relapsed” because of thirst traps on IG. I’ll have to mind who I follow I suppose. I don’t thirst after everyone and that doesn’t have to be a thing. I have this weird mantra in my head. The liberal version of freedom is the freedom to do whatever you want and indulge in whatever you want. The conservative version of freedom is to be free from your desires so you can govern yourself. Essentially I have been trying to free myself from a lot so that I can indeed govern myself. The mantra is shady toward liberals, make of it what you will.

If you didn’t start off as a liberal you never had a heart and if you don’t end as a conservative you’ve never had a brain. That quote is also one that sticks in my head. I did start off as a liberal. I do like liberals. They make sure everyone is counted and they tear down systems that aren’t working and then conservatives clean it up. The left has been hijacked by brainwashed Marxists so things are weird right now. I still have to process my inner conflict about my same-sex attraction. It’s presented here on the right side of the aisle as immoral. That is, in my opinion, because it is presented on the left as an identity. Then the culture is sex, drugs, sex and more sex as they push for policies that hurt children and destabilize society and destroy the nuclear family etc. They’re emotionally hijacked, they’re living in a made-up hero story about a patriarchy and they can’t see that they’re being used to grow communism. LGBT acceptance is down, even from LGBT like myself. We wanted equality, we got it. Now this new generation wants equality plus. No. They’re hurting children and women are the ones being disproportionately affected here. Still, on the right we have the Bible thumpers and they make themselves the measure of what is moral. The knowledge of good and evil was forbidden fruit. They’re committing pride, lust, sloth, envy, wrath, greed blah blah blah. I don’t care too much for the modern counterfeit Christianity now that I know the correct way it is supposed to be taught.

Blah, anyway, I can’t seem to let go of politics. I’ve expanded my awareness to go way beyond myself, I suppose. I care about the world and the people in it. I can’t lobotomize myself with positive thinking and just pretend things are not happening around me. This is something I need to work on also. I can see the shadow work the collective conscious needs to do and I haven’t found a way to accept it all into my own consciousness, yet. I have to get around to it. Too much on my plate at the moment. I would be more relatable if I was acting like a chicken little or had a substance abuse problem. I’m at rock bottom after all. Can’t you just be a neurotic mess with a drinking problem like a normal person? is what I feel like people want from me instead of being an opinionated asshole. Anyway, I should move on with my day.

Last updated March 27, 2021