The following is a work of fiction I wrote many years ago. It contains many usages of the word “Vagina”. I am aware this might be shocking information, but almost half the population of humans is equipped with a Vagina. If the V-word bothers you or otherwise makes you feel uncomfortable, do not click or otherwise do not read this.
For the rest of you curious by the title, well. Enjoy.
Greg’s Farm Fresh Vaginas™ To Go Organic - 11/21/2006
For years, Greg’s Farm Fresh Vaginas™ has been the leading producer of Vaginas in the world. Using the most advanced state-of-the-art techniques in Vaginal culturing, Greg’s Farm Fresh Vaginas™ creates a wide variety of Vaginas™ that has set the standard for Vaginas™ across the world.
“It’s about the Vaginas™.” said Greg, owner and creator of Greg’s Farm Fresh Vaginas™. “If I can’t sell the highest quality Vagina™, then I’ve failed as a Vagina™ farmer. Organic Vagina Farming™ ensures that we are still setting the standard for Vaginal Quality™.”
The term ‘organic’ is a catch-all term that refers to creation of food without the use of drugs, hormones, or synthetic chemicals. Greg has promised that all his Vaginas™ will now be freerange.
“Oh yes. Our Vaginal Range™ is as close as a Vagina™ can get to being in the wild. Despite being in captivity, these Vaginas ™are quite happy. This is reflected in the overall enjoyment the consumer gets when he or she experiences our Vaginas™. In addition, our Vaginas™ consume what they eat in their natural environment. This is in contrast to other Vagina Farmers who feed their Vaginas corn, something which causes a ph imbalance in the Vagina. We find maintaining the Vagina’s natural microsystem creates a Vagina that has a more vibrant and pleasant scent. And, as always, our Vaginas™ are free of problematic growth hormones.”
Despite the move towards a more natural Vagina™, there is rumor that Greg will also be moving in the opposite direction, towards a hair-free model.
“As you know, Wild Vaginas™ have a moderately to heavily haired vulvan exterior. This is to protect the Vagina™ and retain its mate-attracting scent. We have attempted to retain these qualities in our Farm Fresh Vaginas™ as much as possible. Nonetheless, there is a demand for a Vagina™ that has a hairless vulva, therefore we have been working with the latest technology to create our own Nubile Farm Fresh Vagina™. It looks like a Vagina™ that isn’t ready to be plucked, but all of it’s properties, scent, taste, texture, of that of a fully ripe Vagina™.”
The Nubile Farm Fresh Vagina™ is just one of many lines and styles that Greg’s Farm Fresh Vaginas™ offers. There are breeds of Vagina™ that have blonde, brunette, red, and blonde vulvan hair. In addition, there’s various labia minora lengths for those customers that enjoy “protruding lips”, as well as larger clitorises for customers that prefer “an easy target”. All Farm Fresh Vaginas™ come in various shapes and sizes, based on their growth pattern. Like wild Vaginas, all Farm Fresh Vaginas™ are self-lubricating and self-contained for easy use and maintenance.
Greg sees lots of Vaginas in his future. “The hairless model, as well as our hood-ornamented model, are not the majority or our sales. They merely fill niches in our quest to expand our target audience. By and large, most customers want our original standard issue Farm Fresh Vagina. You just can’t beat a Classic Vagina™.”