Don’t you just hate when you procrastinate and then everything goes wrong when the time comes to do it? I’m feeling anxious today because I start my new job tomorrow. I have to go over the package they e-mailed me and I also have to figure out how to set up their virtual orientation. I’m their test pilot for that new system. I couldn’t focus on it because I am stressed about my car and the errands that I needed to run. I decided to get that out of the way because I started to have a mini panic attack. When that happens I just want to shrink my surroundings and be alone which is not possible in this full-house. That creates a positive feedback loop and then I start to become unhinged and strung out over every tiny thing.
While I was out the weather climbed to a high of five celsius and the snow melted too fast and caused the house to start leaking. It’s died down but it was frustrating to deal with. Still dealing with it but it’s under control at the moment. We have a two-year-old in the house who keeps taking the buckets away. I had laid out all of the mail that I have been avoiding opening for me to finally deal with when I returned but they are all soaked now. I swung by my storage locker to get some paperwork and the old day planners that I used to revolve my life around but what I really wanted from there were my running shoes which I forgot. I was so flustered while I was there because I was wondering if my car was going to start again that my dumb ass left my glasses in the storage locker and had to do a Jen Psaki and circle back and get them forgetting my running shoes yet again.
I decided spur of the moment to treat myself to a bottle of wine to congratulate myself on my new job. My credit card declined which foiled my plans a bit so I just used my debit, whatever. I made my way to Walmart to get CSA-approved steel-toed boots for my new gig and figured I would look to see if they had a car battery for me. I called everywhere this morning and nobody had any in the city. There was one on a shelf available, they lied to me. I made my purchase for the boots, the alarm went off at the door which is embarrassing but I just wanted to bring those to my car first and then return with a cart to get that battery. It was gone, what are the odds?!
When I got back home that is when I saw my sister outside freaking out about the house leaking. She’s worse than I am when unhinged so now I’m trying to manage her stress on top of mine lol. We dealt with it the best we can. My nephew managed to get a pen and go to town scribbling all over my paperwork and my day planners while we were distracted. I just wanted to workout, eat, shower, enjoy my wine while I look over the package they sent me and go over my budget and day planner now that I am finally employed and something to look forward to again. Above all, I just want to be alone which doesn’t happen. At the moment I’m just venting on Prosebox, I stink, I’m drinking my wine, my sister keeps calling me to help with his or that because her kids are in the way. Her husband is working in the middle of nowhere and because the water is leaking right through the ceiling fan in the living room he wants us to turn off all of our electronics.
While I was drinking my morning coffee I listened to a Ralph Smart video talking about the need to be grateful and not focus on what I don’t have. I failed miserably at that. Things can be worse, they will be worse soon enough but humanity doesn’t care lol. ugh. blah.