It’s so weird. I am/was feeling so healthy and getting the best sleep of my life before the scope. I was under the VERY watchful eye of my primary care physician who is also a personal friend.
But you knew I was worried, didn’t you? I WAS worried. I felt like something was wrong and was hoping that the thing that was wrong was a simple fix. I was hoping that I was worrying for nothing or something small.
But this. What even is this? It actually has me wondering who even am I? And what’s it all about? And what the actual fuck?
There has to be meaning in this, doesn’t there? Like, there’s a lesson in here, right? I ask God daily (and yes, I believe in god though I may not be super religious) for a sign and he keeps bringing me these really STRONG messages that I’m not sure what to do with.
Like, WHY this?
I know this is all part of the process, but I just don’t quite understand why others have the life experiences like marriage and children while I have the brain aneurysms, the assault and cancer. Yes, I said it. Not cool, I know, but it’s my journal.
And no, I know. I’m not supposed to compare and this is MY journey. But man. It’s been a wild one so far. And honestly, with SO MANY GREAT THINGS. I have so much to be thankful for, but what does it all mean?
But there is something. I don’t believe this is the end. I don’t believe that this is what takes me down - just like the carotid thing. I don’t believe this is it.
There’s something more.
Okay. These are my thoughts for this morning. Now I’m going to go take the dog for a nice, long walk.
XO,
GS
Loading comments...