and so we continue in my challenge

workouts continue. added jack3d to my pre-workout mess. i used it before and recalled that it tasted terrible but got me stupid pumped before i worked out. my workouts were also a bit more extreme, ultra soreness followed that.i got the fruit punch flavor this time and it tastes like kool aid. i approve. leg day literally made is so i've had some difficulty going up stairs. guess i did it right. the diet has been annoying but still alright. sticking with it has been annoying at times, and i've cheated on the weekend a couple times, it happens. i'm not going to beat myself up over it. i might need to do a rest week soon as i'm feeling pretty dead. maybe next week i'll do a light week. depends on how today's workout goes. i've been pushing my body pretty hard the last month or so. i'm still motivated to keep going, i'm still mad about it. i'm still trying to hit my goal of doing maintenance for 30 minutes a day. i want to get to the point where i don't need to kill myself to get and stay in shape. i'm prepared to go the rest of my life with this. maybe switch up programs every so often to keep it fresh and keep my body from getting comfortable. cause i'm mad at it, it stupidly got too round for me to appreciate, and now i am forced to step in and beat it back into submission. plus i've made goals i want to hit. once i drop a certain amount of weight i've promised myself things, that i want. once i get to the point of maintenance i've promised myself something even greater. the bigger battle also has been against my laziness and desire to sit around and watch tv and play video games. i'm done with just doing this all the time. the adventures in my life will be the ones i live. plus it doesn't hurt that the more i work out the more the ladies want to get with me. i mean i run some tight game, i've always had to. sure its confidence and dominance i mostly run, i've had to, my look and size have required this. but since the workouts i've been able to focus more on self improvement in other areas. it helps me focus in general really. i've been allotting my time much more efficiently, still not quite getting everything i want done but still its small improvements. i certainly feel much solider than when i started and my shoulders and traps are beast. the midsection is still strong with drinker muscles, the tire is still there. i want to push myself harder but the body will only do so much. i hate that i need recovery time and that i'm not recovering fast enough. fast enough for me is the next day or even 2 days at the most, this being sore for 3 days is not acceptable. i've considered and am still considering using gear to speed this up. i really hate not being ready to go 100%. it makes me madder at my body for disobeying me and being so stubborn, it just means i'm going to beat it worse until it listens. eventually it will get in line and yes, i do view my body as my enemy at times or a spoiled child that must be broken of its habits. at first i started writing this to hold some accountability with myself. as i've continued it became less important as i'm still doing it, but didn't feel the urge to document it everyday. as most of the progress is small or even not appearing at all. i can compare my numbers but its not going to be more than that. i figured once or twice a week would be good enough.