Compersion and other Spectrums. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

  • Feb. 2, 2021, 9:21 a.m.
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  • Public

Let’s define Compersion using a touch of google-fu.

The word compersion is loosely defined as the opposite of jealousy. Instead of feeling upset or threatened when your partner romantically or sexually interacts with another person, you feel a sense of happiness for them. Jul 1, 2020

I believe it’s a word commonly used in the poly community. As in, instead of feeling threatened by your partner seeking out friendship/love/whatever with someone else, you feel happy that your partner is happy. In more platonic senses, it’s that feeling when someone else gets a high score in a video game, or reproduces, or buys a new car.

You’re not comparing your internal joy/happiness with them. You’re simply happy for them.

Neat word, eh?

Next, for something I haven’t found a word for yet. I think I’ve written on three other spectrums: sexual orientation, gender orientation, emotional (attraction) orientation. Also alluded to how feminine/masculine is also a spectrum.

The middle of the platonic/romantic spectrum.

Gosh, this is turning into 3D chess.

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There’s your requisite Star Trek reference for the day. Move over, Mike Stoklasa. (RedLetterMedia, known for voicing Mr. Plinkett and tearing apart the TNG movies.)

I literally don’t know how to explain this. We’ve had relationships in our lives that aren’t quite platonic. But not quite romantic. Something in the middle. I DON’T HAVE A WORD FOR THIS.

Furthermore, the platonic/romantic spectrum is fluid. You can have no feels for someone. And then one day HI FEELZ, NICE TO MEET YOU. Or the reverse. You have feels for someone, and then they slowly fade. And gee, look at that, you have a FRIEND now.

The phrase “friend zone” as derogatory is stupid. So you were into someone, and then you form a GENUINE FRIENDSHIP. “Friend zone” is a term used by those that can’t accept the benefits of what has formed right in front of their face. Accept that while you were physically or emotionally attracted to someone, it just wasn’t in the cards for you to move further than what you have gained.

To move to 4D chess, a “crush” is somehow off that spectrum, as it’s unrequited feels. If I wasn’t lazy, I’d draw a 3D map of all these spectrums. Like. I have feels, but the moment you actually express those feels, it stops being a crush.

Though, if you say you have a crush on your spouse.... That’s kinda cute. HAVE ALL THE CRUSHES.

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Wait, wait. Not that kind of crush.

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Ah, that’s more like it.


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