I had a strange dream last night. It was a mix of my internal feelings and tv that I had been watching before bed. I always have had really intense dreams. This dream was a mothering dream. I fairly often dream of being a mom in varying ways. Sometimes I am pregnant, just given birth, or I have an already grown-ish child. In most of my baby dreams, I have been separated from my baby or something along those lines. Very rarely are my dreams happy and peaceful. Most of the time my dreams come with strong emotions that I feel deep in my body.
In my dream, I had had a son and gotten separated from him. My dream was me being reunited with this baby. I felt my heart hurt with such intensity. Flash forward and my baby is a boy that has been kept from me. I ache from the life of my son that I missed. In my dream, he was about maybe 3 years old. I held him and felt so cheated by life. My beautiful baby boy had a life without me…
Of course this whole thing is a dream but it feels incredibly real to me. I am young and have never had a child. I have cared for small infants and children as a nanny and there have been times my mothering instinct kicks in and I have similarly strong feelings
I wake up with this deep feeling of the loss of my son that never existed. This dream was interesting because I usually don’t have a great visualization of my child and in this dream, he was very clear. He was mixed but pretty light-skinned. He had dark curly brown hair and my eyes (blue, green). I can still see him in my mind. Very strange. I can’t help but shake the feeling that this dream means more to me than I realize… I don’t know what That means but I can’t stop thinking about it.
Is this some kind of premonitions or something? Who knows! Only time will tell!
Last updated February 16, 2021