I need to work on my masculine energy. Not the feminist version of masculinity, Biden just killed feminism with an executive order anyway, RIP. The get it done side of myself. I still have some of the leftover beliefs that masculinity is the axis of all evil. The liberal brainwash runs deep, apparently. I have been spending too much time in my head which is not necessarily a bad thing, I could be more productive with that but I have been keeping myself radically distracted. I need structure. I have it in me to correct that. Instead of connecting to thoughts that create dread, I can connect to thoughts that can help me look forward to life. I miss my notebooks. Those helped me organize myself. We have permission to buy non-essential items again so I’ll pick one up later.
My life could be worse. I do miss having a bed to sleep in. I miss having space to myself. I have my niece and nephew running around beside me not using their inside voices first thing in the morning. This competing for time and space in the kitchen is menacing also. I could sit here and complain about this living situation all day lol. Now that we have permission to purchase whatever we want again businesses will be hiring again. There is a lot that I can look forward to here instead of overwhelming myself. I think too big. I put up a lot of mental blocks here and I need to work on that. It’s always been my toxic trait. Anyway, it’s way too loud and crowded to keep writing. It’s making me grind my teeth lol. I’ll just get on with it. Mondays used to be my favourite day of the week. I need to create some new stuff here for myself and I need to transmute a lot of dense energies so I can embrace my masculine side.