As I have mentioned before I have a FWB, let’s call him..... Kevin for privacy reasons. He and I have been seeing one another since mid-June 2020. He has slowly become one of my closest friends not just because we are obviously very physically close but because we are able to understand each other really well. This man can read me like a book! I can’t even tell a white lie without him knowing. Recently he has been going through a “crisis of faith” and so we have stopped having sex. At first, this was very worrisome for me because I thought that it meant our relationship would change significantly but I have actually enjoyed this new change. Do I miss the sex? yes, but it has pushed us to focus on other aspects of each other. We have been going out and doing things outside a lot more. We go on walks and talk or recently he asked to come dancing with me.
I NEVER bring people dancing, especially men and especially men that I sleep with. I dance Bachata and Salsa both of which are sensual dances and men that I sleep with are sometimes intimidated by the closeness I have with my dance partners. Dancing is my safe space and I like to keep it that way. I usually compartmentalize aspects of my life and don’t often mix crowds. My dance friends are in their own little world (where I spend most of my time) and when I need a break from that world I usually go to Kevin. Last night Kevin asked if he could come with me dancing and we have gotten to the point that I trust him to keep my safe space feeling safe. I wasn’t just worried about what Kevin would think, I was also worried about how the dance community would respond to me bringing a strange new man with me. I am a social dancer which means I don’t go to a studio for classes and all that, I just go to social dancing events. The social dancing community is big but tight-knit. EVERYONE knows EVERYONE and rumors and gossip are everywhere. I knew bringing Kevin would stir the pot of hearsay that spreads like wildfire. I woke up this morning and within an hour got a phone call from one of my best friends in the community. He hadn’t gone out last night but he told me that he heard I had brought someone with me. SO IT BEGINS! I will be getting asked about Kevin for months.
What I was originally going to write about was the comfort Kevin and I have slipped into with each other. Maybe losing sex would be harder if we were in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because then I would be entirely sexually deprived. I still have my freedom to sleep with anyone I want, when I want and therefore don’t feel as trapped as a person in a monogamous relationship might feel. I love the intimacy I share with Kevin and that is all I need from him currently. We definitely still kiss and cuddle and have sleepovers, we’ve just removed intercourse. I don’t know where this relationship will lead but that is something I’m not too worried about right now. Only time will tell!