So as my first entry I need to explain that my life is pure, mostly accidental comedy. Do I put myself in situations where I am in odd predicaments? Absolutely. I enjoy the chaos (most of the time) and I apologize in advance for the terrible grammar.
A little about me in advance: I am a 24-year-old woman who is half Costa Rican, Half American. I graduated from college in 2019. I have 3 siblings (1 older brother, 1 younger brother, and a younger sister). I regularly dance Salsa and Bachata. I have learning disabilities. I like to smoke weed. I live in California. I make poor choices sometimes. I have a love, hate relationship with men. Other facts will come up but that is my basic info.
OK, I’m just gonna jump in here.
If I accidentally date ONE MORE secret trump supporter I’m gonna lose it. This happened to me TWICE in the span of a few months. The last time it happened I immediately screamed into a pillow right in front of him. If you’re asking “Elle, why did you have a pillow with you?” It was because I had just had sex with him. Truly shameful. He proceeded to tell me that he believed that being gay is a choice and that choosing to be gay is a sin… Let me just slide in the fact that I am BISEXUAL and he knew that. When will the dating hell end?
On another note. I went on a date last night with this Moldovan guy that I’ve had a massive crush on for months. English is his third or fourth language and there is a small barrier there but nothing huge. We went to watch the sunset and then had a double date with a couple that we both know. We went to this couple’s house and had dinner and wine. It was a really good time. I started getting suspicious when I realized that he hadn’t touched me at all… At the end of the night when he dropped me off at my house he told me that he was talking to another girl (a Russian girl= No language barrier) and needs to figure out what he wants but that he like me. He then proceeded to KISS me (like 1 min after saying that) and HOLY SHIT I haven’t been kissed that good in a HOT MINUTE. Let me tell you, he had his hand firmly on my throat and he most definitely used tongue. Right after he kissed me he tells me he’s extremely hesitant about dating an American and that he is in no rush to be in a relationship but that he enjoyed his time with me. He then KISSES ME AGAIN (with equal passion as before) and then tells me he’ll text me tomorrow. All I’m gonna say is that I’m definitely feeling the whiplash. Jesus take the wheel.
I have a friend with benefits (FWB) who I have been with since June 2020. He and I have become very close friends. We had Covid-19 together and have spent A LOT of time together during quarantine. He’s taking me on a birthday trip (his bday) with his group of friends next weekend. It will probably be a disaster. Why do you ask? well, besides the fact that he’s currently having a crisis of faith and won’t fuck me (He will kiss me and act like I’m his GF but he’s struggling with premarital sex.), His girl friends give off the ‘I don’t like the girls my guy friends are seeing’ vibes. We’re all going to be staying together and consuming a lot of alcohol (I’m not a big drinker and they are) and I know things will probably get messy. I know he is going to get drunk and want to sleep with me and I’m feeling torn because I know how guilty it makes him feel and I don’t want to be the cause but I also really miss having sex with him. It would be selfish of me but I know when I’m drinking and uncomfortable around mean girls it’s going to be hard to deny him. We shall see.
Why is my life so purely comical? is this funny to anyone else? I need more girlfriends to hear the ridiculous shit that happens to me. I could easily do stand-up comedy. I know that I put myself in these situations but I just can’t help it.
ANYWAY. I will update when I have more to talk about. TTYL.
Last updated February 18, 2021